OMG Mickey is going to be here in 4 hours! I'm cleaning the guest room top to bottom for him. He called me last night with a few questions, like how does he check in for his flight, etc. so I'm sure hoping he doesn't back out at the last minute because after all, this IS Mickey we're talking about. The king of kings of flakes. Once again, I'm back where I was a year ago, not letting myself get too excited for fear he won't show up. It's sooooo possible. I'd say a 50-50 chance. Although, this week he's texted and called me nearly every day, it's been SO wonderful. He did say he wouldn't "be mean like I was before, I know I hurt you, I was young and stupid and made a lot of mistakes." So, I think that's all I'm gonna get about why he left me naked in that hotel room a year ago. I do feel like it's closure in that it wasn't that I wasn't pretty enough, sexy enough, or said the wrong thing or did the wrong thing, wore the wrong thing or wasn't witty enough. It was HIM. Whatever made him flee really had nothing to do with me; or at least something about me triggered something in his past or whatever, but it wasn't ME per se. Hell, I've decided that I WAS pretty enough, sexy enough, etc., and he felt too much for me and realized, shit, she's married! I'm outta here. He has said to me this week that he doesn't get my hubby and me, and doesn't know why I care for him. I said I didn't know either.
It led me to the discovery that my hubby and me aren't really swingers--we're polyamorous. I had heard the term before but didn't really know what it meant. I read a blog by a girl who had a heartbreaking story so similar to mine about Mickey, and that's when I realized what we really are. My hubby and me can love more than each other, without lessening our commitment to one another. Now it all makes total sense to me, and I feel so much better about myself.
Next post will be a doozer! I will tell you everything we do together. We've shared our fantasies this week and we are going to try some things we've never done before. I lost 4 pounds on my cleanse! I'm eating right now so I will have food in my stomach cuz the alcohol will be flowing to loosen me up. Mickey's big challenge is making me orgasm----despite the 23 lovers I've had, only my husband has made me come. So, he's got a quest....I can't WAIT!!!!