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Thursday, August 19, 2010

Withdrawal

My life has been one crazy hot mess since Mickey left. We sold our California house and bought a new house over 1000 miles away. I can't say where---only to say I miss my friends and gym and familiar things and people. Moving is SO hard....

My thoughts turn to Mickey, as usual. I have only heard from him once since he left--an email telling me he is "phoneless" because he dropped it in water. That was a week ago. I see him online 24/7 and i've written him hello but no response. I sent him 2 silly pics of the grocery store tonight. I hope I made him laugh.(remember he used to be a box boy? I thought he'd get a kick out of the store here---it's aooo ritzy).

I am in Mickey withdrawal.

I loved being with him....Looking in his eyes while I was on top of him, his hands grabbing my ass as he fucked me so hard I was so sore. I think about our talks and how comfortable I started to feel around him. Ok yeah so I'm hung up on him. Totally.

So I did something brave and at this point was probably stupid--I sent him a link to this blog. I've given it to him before--I think he likes reading about himself...maybe not? Maybe I freaked him out a little? I hope not...I'm just someone who expresses myself better with the written word. ---sigh--he's such a mystery. Just as I thought I was beginning to "get" him he's back to playing cat and mouse. It just makes me crazy.

So much is going on with me---and I just want to share it all with him. I want to hear him laugh at the craziness and tease me for my insanity. I felt so close to him by the last day of his visit. I liked being open with him and telling him whatever popped in my bead. I miss him!
Fuck if I know what he's thinking. I'm trying to resist contacting him....it's much sweeter to wait to hear from him.

We are in the midst of unpacking...but the guest room looks great already! My hubby calls it "Mickey's Room." yay!! I hope he'll come visit like he said be would!! Hubby said we'd get a new bed for him--since he complained it wasn't comfortable enough!!!

That would be so fucking awesome if he does come visit! I'm
thinking of putting money in his bank account every so often. I'd do anything for him. I'm lucky that my hubby knows how I feel about him and wants to make me happy.

As long as I have Mickey in my life, I AM happy.

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