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Monday, September 27, 2010

His Response is----No Response

As quickly as Mickey disappeared offscreen last post, he came back on. Five longs days he stayed offline (or invisible) he just popped back on and wrote me. As usual, it was after midnight when his IM came in. The little pop-up sound woke me and I was thrilled (of course) to see it was him. I decided to chill and went back to sleep. I woke up at 2 am and responded hello. He said he was alone, smoking pot, and he seemed really playful and happy. Just the Mickey I love. He sent me the cutest little happy face, you know, made with asterisks, semi-colons, all those little font-things ( I don't know what they're called). Then a lull, like an hour and a half lull where I fall in and out of sleep, straining to hear the IM sound.

The day before I had emailed him pictures of our guest room in our new house---I very much want him to come visit---Hubby said I could pay for his plane ticket again---so I spent the whole weekend emptying boxes, carrying boxes, and the room is gorgeous. He wrote simply "sweet" about it. So, I thought, hmmm, yeah!! Maybe I can buy his ticket today! But as usual, he didn't say anything more about it.

I had tried to make him jealous last week by mentioning that I'd met someone here, and he knew I meant a playmate. He then said, "guess you don't need me anymore." That couldn't be farther from the truth! I told him, "you know I'd rather have you. I'm just keeping myself busy till you come back to me." He of course let that sentence hang in the air and dissipate like all the other emotion-laden sentences I say to him.

So---my girlfriend said, "let him know nothing's happening with this other guy." Cuz unfortunately it's true---that hot grocery checker is a high school senior so he's probly not even 18! So I used that moment to tell Mickey about it. Last thing he said to me was, "LOL you do like the young ones." I said, "that's too young! " then, a loaded question----"what about you? are you seeing anyone?" and of course no response.

Half hour later, I wrote, Still there? no response.

The next day, I wrote simply hi. No response.

That afternoon, I wrote, Hi Mickey with a smiley face.

It's been 3 days. No response.

WTF??? I'm so sick and tired of these games.

My girlfriend said to me very gently,"I think he's lying to you about not having a phone." I told her I'd already thought of it.

We had had a conversation a few days before about him moving here. It was pretty heavy...I was pretty insistent that I wanted him here and that I'd do anything to help him. He kept peppering me with roadblocks, like "but how would I get my stuff there?" and of course I had an answer for every single one.I got the impression he really wants to move here but it's logistics that's keeping him stuck for now, not emotion. But maybe I was way wrong.

I'm done, I'm really done. I can't take it anymore.

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