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Thursday, February 24, 2011

The winter blahs have taken over my soul

My dry spell goes on. I am thinking of canceling my profile on the dating website cuz I'm so sick and tired of flakes! I am sick and tired of the texting, exchanging sexy pics, sexy talk, and then when it comes time to actually meet, these guys disappear. I feel like I'm wasting my money and my time. Guys sure know how to talk a big talk but not walk the walk. What is it they want?? They advertise how big their dicks are, how good they are in bed, yada yada yada but no one seems to want to meet a real woman.  I'm so done with it.

I think I told you last blog post I thought I found someone who could possibly fill Mickey's shoes. I found him on the website. He's disappeared now too. He sent me sexy pics and videos of him masturbating--very nice, yes, but I have spent the last 2 weeks trying to pin him down to a date and he's gone AWOL. I'm so annoyed. I honestly don't take it personally. I know I'm sexy, I'm honest, I'm good in bed (well, so I've been told....I do know I love sex and love to please). I take good care of myself, dress nice, smell good LOL and these guys haven't even met me so how can I feel rejected???

ON THE OTHER HAND, I do take it personally when I don't hear from Mickey. He has been amazing the last few months. For example, I was driving to the airport one day last week to pick up my hubby, and I called Mickey. For the record, I almost NEVER call him. I don't want to bug him. So this was unusual. Well, his voicemail picked up, so I just left a short happy message. HE CALLED ME RIGHT BACK!! It was sooooo wonderful hearing his sexy voice, and just knowing he actually called me right back. We chatted the whole drive, and I actually had to say, "I have to let you go, I'm here and I have to call my hubby." Instead of me clinging and clinging like I usually do, I initiated the hang-up so I thought that was good. He is really opening up to me, we talked again about him moving out here. I told him I didn't want to pressure him, and he said he didn't feel pressured. I said, "why don't you just come out for a visit and see if you like it here?" and he agreed that was a good idea. We had a great talk. He said he's really ready for a change--he's going on a liquid fast, and that he was going to stop drinking AND having sex for a month, including no masturbating! I just told him how proud of him I was. There's more but I don't want to bore my audience. I'll move on and just say that he had been texting me nearly every day as well----until this week. Three of my texts have gone unresponded to. I did check his GF's FB page (it's private) but her relationship status has changed from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated", so I guess he's broken up with her--YAY! It's so hard for me to "just chill" and let him come to me, but he always does, so I'm trying to just breathe now every time I think of texting or calling him. He obviously needs room--SOMETHING is going on with him, cuz it's not like him (now, anyway) to not write me back. I'm pretending I've got a life and I'm so busy I hardly notice he hasn't gotten back to me. What a joke. I'm trying.

I guess my challenge is--I need to get a life. I had a life till we moved, and it's been 7 months and I am just really depressed and lonely. I have a job interview tomorrow so hopefully if I get it that will get me out of the house and meet people.

We had a few spring-y days last week, nearly all the snow had melted and the sun was out and I could see green grass in the yard! I went outside and just sucked up some rays and felt the frozen grass with my fingers. I could taste the excitement of warmer weather and outdoor fun. The next day we got 6 inches of snow and haven't seen the sun since. I've loved the snow so far, but the tease of spring was cruel.  I decided to stop pouting and ran out to make a snowman with my daughter. It was just what I needed---it was so fun!! But now the blahs are back again. I've really gotta get my life together. I can't sit around and wait for Mickey, I need to make some plans for myself.  Now I know why people here teased us so much about leaving behind the Gold Coast. I'm sooo missing LA.

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