A lot has happened since that last blog, and I'm super busy right now so I don't have time to write it all down. I want to keep my dear readers updated though. I love that you all care about me and what's going on with me. Things are great right now. I am doing great. After this last blog post and the naughty night, I had some conversations with Mickey and my mind is just blown. It seems I have been reading him wrong for a long time. Right now anyway, the truth is, he is working a lot--he just got a promotion and said he's working like 12 hours a day, sometimes more. He's on call a lot. He said there's no one else, and by the way he's been texting me every day, I believe him. That's right--I hear from him almost every day now. His texts are so sweet--filled with "I miss you's" and "sweetie" and just staying connected. It's the closest I've ever felt to him in the six years I've known him. I even sent him a birthday present last week! I've never done that.
I'm always jumping to the conclusion that I'm not that important to him; that I'm really just his "in-between" girl. He's making me feel lately like I'm wrong about that. I'm happy about that. VERY happy.
I have found someone new that just may replace him. OK, well, hahaha that could never happen, but in talking with my close girlfriend, I have come to realize I'm in way deeper than I thought. He has SUCH a hold on me, and it's just a matter of time until he breaks my heart again. That's right, again, he's done it twice already. So I have my dating website, and I haven't found anyone I like in the 5 months I've been on there, till recently. I met a guy who's only 18 (yes, he is 18, I made him prove it to me haha) but he's a very mature 18. I'll call him Jake. He's had kind of a rough upbringing that's made him seem older than he is, wiser than most people 20 years older. We've been texting for a few weeks, and gotten to know each other. He's very sweet, very complimentary, and just what my fragile ego has been seeking. He's a musician, he's edgy, ears pierced with diamonds in them, and a lip ring. My favorite.
We finally met on Sunday night. It was amazing. It was honestly some of the best sex I'd ever had, and I've had a lot of sex. We went nearly 2 hours before he came, I was getting sore and although I wanted to keep going, I was out of town and wanting it to be over so I could go home. I had just planned on a quickie but it was too intense for that. He was very sweet, saying my name, caressing my face, just making me feel appreciated. Very tender, and never did anything that scared me or made me feel unsafe or unloved. He just adores me, and makes me feel so sexy and alive. I can't wait to be with him again. I drove home--2 hour-drive-- and my horny husband was waiting for me and he gave me the big-o I couldn't have with my new boy. It was one of the best nights of my life. 3 hours of sleep and I never felt tired the whole next day!
It's not that I want to replace Mickey, it's that I HAVE to replace Mickey. I know he's going to hurt me again, and I can't take it. I need to fall for someone else and just gently ease him out of my life.
If I can.