Hello my wonderful readers, I'm sorry it's been like 3 weeks since I've written. The kids are out of school for the summer and I can't get a moment's privacy! I like to write first thing in the morning when the coffee kicks in. I'm finally having some time to myself so of course my first thought is, BLOG!!!
Since I wrote last, I have not heard from either Jake OR Mickey. I have not tried to contact Jake--I'm leaving him 100% alone. His band will be playing a gig here this Friday! Hubby and I got tickets and we're going to see him. I'm determined to meet him after the gig face to face. Of course I know it will be awkward, especially with my hubby there, and I'm certain nothing will come of it, but you know me, I never do what I'm supposed to do. I'm sure I will get hurt again and wish I hadn't seen him, but I can't seem to help myself. I do miss him and I know he'll be polite at least.
I don't know what the fuck is up with Mickey. I don't know why he contacts me out of the blue, tells me he misses me, and then disappears. It's as if he's off the face of the planet. He isn't online, he isn't texting or answering his phone when I call. I know he said he was struggling when he texted last, and he'd mentioned getting rid of his phone. He's got a good job--I can't imagine why he can't afford Internet or his phone. SO.......I assume he doesn't want to talk to me again. He makes me crazy. But the good thing is, I don't obsess over him anymore. It is REALLY a relief. I can stand back and say, well, there goes Mickey, doing his crazy thing again, playing cat and mouse, and not take it personally. Whether or not he responds to my texts, or says what I need him to say, do NOT dictate my moods anymore. It is such a relief.
The best cure for heartbreak is a new guy, and I had this really cute blonde 19 year old writing me on my dating website. I hadn't written him since I was all caught up in Jake. He was persistent though, and I was ripe for a new lover, so I wrote him back. He gave me his phone number and we started texting. What I loved most about Danny is that he always texted back immediately!! And I decided I'd play harder to get....I seem to keep getting attached too easily and so decided to let him court me. I just adore him. The best part was, he did what no other guy, even Jake, would do---for example, I was at work one day, and I got a text from him that said he was in his (college) physics class and was thinking about me! How wonderful is THAT???!! I enjoyed that so so much. He went on to tell me how beautiful he thinks I am, can't wait to get me naked, etc. and we sent sexy pics to each other. While he's sitting in class! That was so fun. OH! And I forgot to mention he's an Abercrombie model! He said his picture is up in their stores all over the country! (guess who's going to the mall soon!)
He lives near Jake in the big city, and wanted to scope me out before he drove out here, so he asked if I had Skype. I didn't, but it was easy to get on there and before I knew it, there he was! OMG what a fucking hottie! He's a swimmer, and he took off his pants and boxers, right there on camera, and put his speedo on! OMG he's hung like a horse and gorgeous to boot. Of course it got very nasty after that--he began stroking himself and of course I started teasing him and took of my clothes one at a time for him too. It was so fun--unlike yahoo messenger, you don't have to type to talk to each other, you just talk! So we got along great. Before the clothes came off we chatted for about an hour, and before I knew it, he'd made himself cum all over himself, and it was 3 am!! We'd been online for three hours! It was awesome. He giggled afterward, and we both agreed we'd passed the test for attractiveness! So, we made plans for him to possibly come see me in two days, last Friday. I told him I'd get a hotel room. We said our goodnights with sexy plans to do all those nasty things in person.
I haven't heard from him since.
WTF here we go again??? What did I do wrong???
I knew he had plans to go to Magic Mountain with a buddy. He'd told me right up when we were Skyping, and who knows, maybe that was just a lie. So he texted me Friday afternoon, simply, "hey, I am really not going to be able to make it up tonight sorry :(" I responded, It's ok sexy man! I kinda figured since ur having a big day lol". no response. Later that same night I wrote, "I hope we can meet soon" no response. The next morning I wrote, "HI sexy man", still nothing.
Hmmm so it's been a whole weekend and not a peep out of him. WTF I guess I messed up again.
So back to square one.