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Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Sexy pics for you!

Good morning dear lovlies! Have you enjoyed the pics of my sexy men I posted just for you??? Aren't they delicious???? Feel free to leave me your comments!! And NO you cannot have their phone numbers!!!!

I still don't know when we will get to hook up though unfortunately. My hubby and I are still riding the fucking rollercoaster of his infidelities, and although things are going well, it is still too tenous to add other guys sadly. I do miss my hotties, but they have to be an addition to my life, not a substitute for my hubby. And right now we have to get solid before we go back to swinging again.

We do both miss it. It's just harder now. I'd be ok if he never wanted to be with another female, but how fair is that?? It's not, but hey, I didn't ask to be cheated on so that wasn't fair to ME. I allowed him to have HER but he lied and cheated on me behind my back about her so HE IS THE ONE THAT FUCKED IT ALL UP. 

I am working on me. We are talking more, counseling has been helping. I am trying to find my way. The cognitive dissonance of infidelity does SO much damage, if I can implore you all to be HONEST in every way with the significant other in your life. This whole notion of "trying to protect" them by withholding the truth only hurts worse when the truth finally comes out, and believe me, IT WILL COME OUT. It took 16 years for the truth of his first affair to come out, and it hurts worse and makes it that much harder to recover from. I look at him and wonder, "who the fuck is this person I've been married to all these years??" He's had this secret double life I had NO FUCKING IDEA about. Trying to rebuild trust is THAT much harder by his cowardice in not coming forward. 

If you've cheated on your significant other, I beg you to come clean RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE. They deserve to know. They deserve to be able to make their own choices and not have you manipulate them to stay with you. That is honestly the hardest part--I hate my husband for not giving me the opportunity to decide  FOR MYSELF if I wanted to stay with a cheater. He manipulated me into staying for 16 years by withholding the truth from me. How can I ever forgive him for that?? And, in addition, I gave up my friends, my family, my life, my kids' friends and life, to move clear across the country for him. Yes, it's been a good move, but that is because THAT IS WHO I AM. I MAKE THE BEST OF IT. I have moved with him over 8 times during our marriage, and if I'd known he'd cheated on me maybe I'd have divorced him 16 years ago. Or three, after the second affair. HE CHEATED ME OUT OF MAKING CHOICES.

So I implore you to remember this quote from"The truth hurts, but lies hurt more."

Enjoy you life by living authentically.

Go and be happy my sexy readers.


Lola said...

Well said. Keep us posted on your progress.

NaughtyAnna said...

Thank you Lola!!!! I appreciate your comments always!!!!


cobaltblucpl said...

We are swingers who met at a swingers club and have been together since. But, everyone else, we have, made our share of stupid and thoughtless mistakes. Our one saving grace is that neither one of us is a quitter. We hung on and battled it out....together. Even though we hurt each other we never gave up on each other. We held together and fought past the pain, doubts and anger. Today, we are best friends, partners, soulmates and companions. So yes, swinging is tough on a relationship. But if two people have the inner strength, love and desire, all they need is the endurance and strength to work beyond the bad, and to savor every moment of the totally wonderful.

NaughtyAnna said...

Thank you so much cobaltblucpl for your comment! I think that you both started out healthier emotionally than we did. Look at where you met---we had been a traditionally monogamous couple for 12 years (he had cheated already, unbeknownst to me) so the whole "open marriage" was destined for disaster due to his inability to be truthful about the fact that he'd already gone outside the marriage.

I don't know if it's in our cards to resume swinging; I know we both miss it, it WAS exciting but there's so much baggage and hard feelings now (mine) I don't know if it can ever work. I'd like to read more about you guys!

Thank you again!
Anna XO