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Friday, May 9, 2014

Douche bag alert

So we're trying out this "OK Cupid" dating website, and I'm not some doe-eyed newbie. I've done the "cougarlife.com" and "Adult Friend Finder" dating websites, so I know how these things work. And I always say, hey, I'm easy, but I'm not THAT easy. 

So I met this guy on OKCupid, he's 24, lives near me and a complete hottie. We have been texting back and forth and agreed to meet this week. Last we spoke it was we would be checking our schedules and setting up a day and time to meet. So, this is where I sit back and see how interested the guy really is. If I have to be the first to text and convince him to meet me, it's not good. I wait for the text and then proceed. This is where it always stops. I swear I don't know what the fuck is wrong with these guys! Why the fuck are they even on these dating websites if they don't want to get laid??? What more does a girl have to do???

Case in point--this guy I'm talking about we'll call Mitch. So, a few days go by, and I'm waiting to see if he's going to make the first move to meet me. Two days ago I get this: "Yo". 

Yes, "Yo".

I did what any self-respecting girl would do. Ignore it.

A day later (yesterday) I was thinking about him, how hot he is and that I'd still like to get it on with him, and thought, "hmmm, he needs a little guidance here. I'll give it to him" and I wrote, "I really like you but I don't do "YO" lol" then a second text, "I'll give you another chance" with a kiss emoticon. You won't believe what he wrote back! "Pfff"
He's toast. I'm done. What an asshole.

I double-checked my reaction with my BFF and she reassured me what he did was disrespectful and at the very least crass. I told her, "I'm easy but shit if I allow "YO" and I haven't even met the guy????" She concurred. I said, "I'm not one of his "homies". I'm a lady. Just because I'm easy doesn't mean you can disrespect me. If I allow THIS, it will let him know I have absolutely no self-respect whatsoever." She agreed.

I laid in bed thinking about it all and imagined a conversation between him and a buddy about it.

Mitch: "Dude this hot girl totally blew me off. I'm so bummed. She was gonna meet me this week and fuck me."

Buddy: "Dude what happened?"

Mitch: "I have no idea."

Buddy: "Whadday mean you have no idea? What'd she say?"

Mitch: "Dude we were supposed to meet this week. I hadn't heard from her so I just texted her and next thing I know she's totally pissed off!"

Buddy: "Why would she be pissed off? Dude what did you say?"

Mitch: "I just wrote "yo" and she got totally pissed off"

Buddy: "You wrote "Yo"?? WTF? Seriously dude? OMG"

Mitch: "What's the problem? I write "Yo" all the time"

Buddy: "To ME you douche bag! You don't write a hot girl "Yo"!! What the fuck is wrong with you??"

Mitch: "Shit."

Buddy: "What did she say?"

Mitch: " She said, 'I really like you but I don't do "yo". I'll give you another chance" and she wrote this little kiss emoticon."

Buddy: "Shit you're one lucky sonofabitch. What did you write back? When are you meeting her??"

Mitch: "Meeting her? Fuck no! I wrote, "pfff" fuck her!"

Buddy: "You're an asshole and a douche bag. Do you know that?"

Mitch: "Fuck you too."

This is what I imagine happened. Makes me feel better anyway. Because regardless of his youth, his inexperience, I've been involved with guys younger than him that know how to treat a lady. And yeah, maybe I over-reacted, but I don't think so. 

Readers? What do you think?