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Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Confession time

Hello my lovelies! One thing you can count on is NaughtyAnna will ALWAYS be honest with you and tell you the down and dirty truth in all its glory and occasional ugliness. I have a confession to make. I have been debating whether or not to tell you because although it isn't exactly scandalous, it has been bothering me that I have held back on telling you. And I worship my readers and I have never held anything back to this point.

A little over two weeks ago, I had my regular Pap exam. I always ask for a full STD check. I'm honest with my doctor and let her know I have multiple lovers and aren't always as safe as I should be. She took a swab test and also ordered a full blood work up for HPV and HIV, which I could do after the exam, at the lab downstairs. The exam went well; she said I appear healthy as a horse and she'd call me with the results by Monday. The office called late that afternoon that I was clear of any HPV or HIV. You'll notice my Tweet that day said, "100% clean--as usual". I wasn't lying.

Monday morning, I was getting ready for my new guy I've been Snapchatting to show up for some morning fun and my cell phone rang. It wasn't even 8:00 o'clock in the morning, and it was my doctor's office. Guess what??!!

I tested positive for chlamydia.

There's only one person I could've caught it from.

Jordan.

I was told that she'd called in antibiotics for me and that I should take them immediately. AND that I needed to tell "all my sexual partners" because they needed to get tested and treated.

I only had 2. My husband, and Jordan.

I was with Jordan back in July, and he didn't give me anything then. SO......evidently, he'd been with someone between July and October 6th when he gave it to me.

I had to call him and tell him.

I was petrified. I didn't want to push him away. I didn't want him to think I was a skank and gave it to HIM. I immediately started Googling "chlamydia" and find out everything I could about this STD. And then of course I Googled, "How do I tell my guy he gave me an STD?" And the advice ran the gamut of, "Get rid of that douchebag!" to "Hey, he may not have known he had it. If he's hot, get yourselves treated and let it go." I was a mess. I didn't know what to think.

I couldn't decide if the worst part was telling him or the fact that I had a date RIGHT NOW that I had to cancel because my doctor told me I needed to wait FOUR WEEKS before I could have intercourse again. AND ONLY AFTER I GOT RE-TESTED TO MAKE SURE I WAS CLEAN.

I knew Jordan was out of town on his photo shoot (he's a model) and probably fucking the other models and knew he needed to know. He was spreading it to every girl he was with (I was just assuming he was sexually active). So....I needed to tell him; I needed to let him know not only did he give it to me but whoever he'd been with between he and I in July and this most recent date gave it to HIM. That he would need to call her and every other girl he'd been with during that four-month time.

And most importantly, I wanted to keep a good relationship with him. How the hell was I going to do that????!!!! What if he didn't believe me? What if he thought I gave it to HIM?! What if he was a jerk and a douchebag about it?? Would this mean the end of things between us? The internet basically said, "Don't tell by text or email. Do it in person or if that's not an option, call them." So I sent him a text that very day. I said that something came up and I needed to talk to him right away, could he call me today? He sent a text right back,"I can't talk right now, what's up?" So I said, "Nothing serious, but it's important. I don't want to text." He said, "I'll call you as soon as I can hun." I was so happy he called me "hun" LOL I started to relax. I thought, "This will go well."

I waited ALL FUCKING DAY for his call. A week later, it never came.

I started to get very anxious and angry. My hubby and I figured either he already knew (cuz one of the girls he'd probably fucked called him and said she had it) or he was just scared I was going to yell at him. Hubby said guys can't handle angry women. LOL Like that's something I'd do???!! I don't yell at people. (Except if they cheat on me).

So...after doing some FB trolling of his page, I saw that he was coming back from his photo shoot on Saturday and was asking for rides. I sent him a text asking when would he be back and did he need a ride from the airport? Crickets. He never responded. This was the day before Halloween. I was disappointed and started to freak out how he obviously wasn't planning on calling me at all. He was just going to sidestep me and hope I go away. I started to waver between being the angry bitch he was trying to avoid and being heartbroken that this beautiful man I'd fallen hard for was turning out to be, yes, a douchebag.

Halloween night, while we are having a raging, fun party at our home, he starts Snapchatting me. I was fucking ecstatic. He sent me a pic of him dressed in drag. He made such a pretty girl LOL I wasn't drunk yet but I was soooo happy. We Snapped back and forth and he made a reference to coming home the following day. I took a screenshot of the pic he sent, and after 4-5 Snaps, that was it. Neither of us mentioned "it".

Finally, by Monday morning, I was obsessed with telling him. I had a responsibility to tell him! I couldn't NOT tell him. Especially after my hubby went to the clinic and also tested positive. I'm his only sexual partner (right now). And yes, it was a brief test of his fidelity....but only from his point of view. I am very happy to report that it never once occurred to me that he had cheated again and had given me an STD. He brought it up--and I believe him with my whole heart and soul. He got on antibiotics too.

I just wanted to get it over with. I talked to my BFF and she gave me some pointers on what to say. Was it important he know he gave it to me? Was it? And how do I tell him without looking like a skank and a whore myself??? I used the advice my BFF gave me and also pieced together stuff from Askmen.com and wrote a script. I figured he wouldn't answer his phone, and I'd just leave a voicemail. That really, he'd left me no choice since he was refusing to call me back.

I used my "voice memos" on my phone to practice reading the script. I listened back to make sure my inflection wasn't bitchy or nasally or accusatory. It had to be JUST RIGHT. After two or three demos, I pulled up big-girl panties and dialed his number.

My heart was pounding. I started wishing I'd guzzled a couple shots of vanilla vodka for courage, but I had to go to work. And guess what???!!! HE ANSWERED!!!! Totally caught me off guard!!! I was all breathy and like, "hiiiiiii!!!!!! I didn't expect you to answer!!" I was so happy he clearly wanted to talk to me and wasn't avoiding me. Douchebag??? !! NOPE!!!! He was so cute and sexy. It was almost 2 in the afternoon and he'd said he'd just woke up. So, I'm imagining him laying in bed, naked under the covers, and I'm getting turned on. I almost forgot why I was calling him!!! LOL

He was great. I stumbled and stuttered, I told him how nervous I was, and that I was hoping he'd call ME cuz I just wanted to get this over with. I think I started by saying, "I'm not pregnant!" LOL He said, "What??!!!" and I was like, "That wouldn't be a bad thing, that would be a good thing...." haha I was so nervous. What script???!! I was totally nervous. I think the whole conversation lasted 3 minutes.  I just casually told him how I went to the doctor for my annual Pap. That I hadn't had any symptoms, but that the doctor said the incubation period is 1-3 weeks sooo.....it coincided with exactly us being together and me getting it. I didn't come right out and say, "YOU GAVE ME AN STD!" because that would be bitchy, and really? Of all the STD's it's not a big deal. He put me at ease a little being so understanding. I can't remember if he apologized; I don't think he did. I did tell him he was the only one I'd been with besides my husband and that "he's not allowed to be with anyone else right now" which is the total truth. He laughed. And he was great. He thanked me like 3-4 times, he actually said that my telling him the truth was "so commendable" and that he "greatly appreciated it." Lastly, I said something like, "yeah, it's really not a big deal--except not being able to have sex for 4 weeks sucks" LOL and we both laughed. I said, "I don't regret being with you and I'd love to see you again. You were fun!" and he said, "ABSOLUTELY!!! So...that was basically it. We both said a breathy "bye" and I was floating on air. It went better than I expected.

Sadly, I haven't heard from him since.

I don't know if he actually did anything about it. It wouldn't show on his social media of course. I wanted him to still see me as hot so in the following week I'd sent him a few naked/sexy pics of me (Snaps) and not only did he not respond to them twice he took over 12 to open them! I was heartbroken but the worst was when he posted a pic of one of the female models from his photo shoot on HIS Instagram with a comment about how "beautiful gorgeousness" of her (or something stupid like that).

Douchebag or not? Hmmm I think he's just wrapped up in his world; I mean this guy's really got it going on. He's got 5000 Facebook friends and my BFF noticed they're nearly all women. So he's got his narcissistic supply. He doesn't need it from me.

So, I'm just hanging back, looking for someone knew to fill the void till I hear from him again. Will I? Most likely. Last time it took him 3 months from one date to the next.

Next blog post? J. He's back.