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Thursday, November 20, 2014

How to Have a HEALTHY Threesome

Hello dear readers, I promised you a follow-up to my last post, "You Want a WHAT??!!" 
Not being a guy, I don't know the reasons you guys want to have two women in bed with you at the same time; I can only surmise it's because somehow you've been led to believe two is better than one. Using this premise, I have to tell you, honestly, it's NOT. Even though I'm not a guy. BUT---and I don't want to be a hypocrite here---it CAN be one of the best experiences in your life. SO.....this post is about how to have that fantasy come true and not come back to bite you in the ass.

There's kind of 2 parts to this: One, if you're married or have a SO, the rules are very different than if you're single with no girlfriend/engaged or otherwise. The point is, unless your girl is already freaky, she is not going to be coaxed into letting you bring another woman into your bed. Stop asking her. And don't even think about getting her drunk and "accidentally" making out with another girl to "see if she'll go along with it." I see this on Dr. Phil all the time. Let me tell you, you'll regret it. Either get the fantasy out of your head or leave her and go do it, but don't keep pestering her to satisfy your selfish desires.

Part 2: A "truly" single guy. So....I'll start with that scenario, since that's what my Jordan is fantasizing about.

The question he asked me is, can I find another hot woman to go to bed with him and I?? First of all, I give him that he's so very young and inexperienced. Obviously, he hasn't read my previous post LOL and doesn't get that someone who already is into him wouldn't WANT to share him. Pretty much, that sums me up. Sex with him is so fucking amazing; how do I stand to benefit by getting naked with him and some other hot chick? Would it turn me on to see someone half my age sucking his dick? I doubt it. I think it would probably make me even more self-conscious. Sometimes I think, "Nah, Anna, you would have fun. Cuz he's into you... you know it has nothing to do with him losing interest in you. Rather, he thinks you're SO hot he wants to share YOU!!!!! Not the other way around!!!!" I go back and forth. I'm freaky and kinky. I'm not your typical female, and that's what he doesn't understand. He thinks all women think the way I do. This is the problem.

I remember how badly I wanted Mickey when he had that long-term girlfriend. I had done some serious trolling of her (to look for cracks--was he really that happy with her??) and she was, to my surprise, quite adorable. I trolled her FB page so much I began to have a little crush on her myself! With her amazing intelligence (she was a psych major I think), green eyes, her athletic little 110-pound body and full of tattoos, I could totally see why he was so into her. And of course, prodded on by him, Mickey confided in me he wished he could have both of us. I totally could've done it. I still could. 

That's called POLYAMORY. And it truly would be, W O N D E R F U L. It's what I and my hubby have both wanted for many years. 

The reason we haven't been able to find that wonderful person to have a polyamorous relationship with is primarily because we are programmed to want one person, and one person only (see previous post http://weswing-naughtyanna.blogspot.com). 

I told my husband about Jordan's request. He said, "With nearly 5000 FB friends, does he really need you to find him a girl to have sex with??" RIGHT??? He's a model. He's fucking gorgeous. God's gift to women. I truly mean that with every cell in my body. He is gorgeous. He can get anyone he wants. Every pic he posts gets hundreds of 'likes". So then, why can't he scrap together two of his thousands of followers to have sex with him? He said, "I certainly don't know how to go about this." Dear readers, I hope you know the answer.

BECAUSE NONE OF US WANT TO SHARE HIM. WE WANT HIM ALL FOR OURSELVES.

To bring another woman into bed with him would be the ultimate competition. We'd see for ourselves how another woman sucks and fucks. Maybe she doesn't have bigger tits than us but damn she likes it in the ass and I would never do that. Maybe watching him lick her pussy makes us feel a little gay and wonder about our own sexuality. Maybe she likes my tits and starts to rub my nipples. What then???!!! And as he takes turns with us, flipping us over like a well-cooked grilled cheese sandwich, is he comparing us? "Hmm, that one could use a little more time at the gym" or "damn, I never really noticed her cellulite". This is what we woman think about. We are constantly feeling that never-ending competition with other women! Locker rooms are bad enough! Get naked with our guy AND the hot girl whose locker is next to mine?? Are you fucking insane???!!!

I'll let you in on a little secret. Being with another woman in bed (if you're a woman) is one of the smartest things you can do. And one of the most exciting. I totally recommend it.

So.....how do you go about finding another woman to bed your guy with? Is this another post? Hmmm.. am I digressing? 

To answer Jordan's question, what he needs to do is find two women who find him hot who do not know one another. Like a rock stars' groupies, they are two hot chicks and they have all "just met". This is truly the only way this can work. Because the women start completely even. The understanding is, he likes you both EXACTLY THE SAME. YOU'RE BOTH HOT AND HE ISN'T INTERESTED IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH EITHER OF YOU. At least, that's how it starts out.  Maybe you'll all exchange phone numbers and carry on after said sexual threesome. Maybe not. That's not the point. The point is to try to eliminate competition as much as possible.

What kind of woman would want to bed a guy and another girl at the same time? How does a hot single guy find such a girl? Or two for that matter? That is Jordan's question.

It's not easy, I told him, "it's much more complicated than you would think." And sadly, I don't have an easy answer for him. If I did, my hubby would've gotten the threesomes HE'S been fantasizing about now for, oh, ten years or more. Because the women we've gone to bed with turned out to be whores he cheated on me with and brought them home to me like they were brand new toys out of the box. Never been played with. That wasn't true. My point is, Jordan my sweet, this is how we women are. My hubby knew the only way he'd get me to agree to have another woman in our bed is if he lied and manipulated me to get her there.

We nearly divorced over it.

The only way to get another woman, or two women in your bed, is to just find two women you want to have sex with and ASK THEM if they'd be interested in a threesome.

It's called HONESTY folks. It's not about manipulating people by drugging them with booze until their clothes fall off and then taking advantage of them. Everyone needs to be in agreement about what they want and expect from a threesome. Anything less than that will lead to hurt feelings, diseases, and worse, broken marriages and possibly violence. This is serious stuff here. Threesomes are not to be taken lightly if you're in a committed relationship.

If you're truly single like my Jordan, he shouldn't really have too much trouble finding two women to play with. All he has to do is talk to two women he would like to play with--two women who seem a little freaky (tattoos anyone? Multiple piercings? Likes to take selfies?)  and have a group conversation with them. Take them both out for drinks/dinner/coffee and TALK to them. See how they respond. Let them know that you find them both EQUALLY attractive and that it's all about the sex. That you're not looking to get either of them into a relationship or pregnant. Do they feel the same way??

See, what my uninitiated Jordan and million of single (and taken) guys don't realize is that by crossing over into freak land requires a lot more maturity. It requires honesty above all, and LOTS OF TALKING. There's nothing about threesomes or moresomes that is sneaky, manipulative, or coercive. It's open and honest conversation about what thrills and chills you.

I'll end with an example.

My husband and I had our first threesome with another woman when we first opened our marriage about 12 years ago. This woman he had not cheated on me with and she was truly a gal-pal of ours. She was actually one of our son's teachers and that's how we met. She was "truly" single and the three of us just really hit it off. She was cute and fun and open-minded, as we found out over dinner one night months after meeting her. I don't remember how the conversation started, but we got to feeling safe with her and told her about our open marriage (it was only Mickey then). And sure enough, one thing led to another.

And it was AWESOME. 

I never felt threatened by her presence. And my husband felt too guilty to penetrate her; he was worried how I would really feel the next morning (and thereafter) so he did everything else. It was so exciting. I had never been naked with another woman. I had never so much been touched by another woman, or looked at the way she looked at me. She truly was into both of us, and played with us equally. And she made me cum faster than any guy has ever made me cum. It was wicked and nasty and unsettling to feel turned on by another woman. It made me feel so many different feelings, good and bad, nasty and uptight, kinky and fearful. Seeing my husband respond sexually to her was both incredibly upsetting and exciting. 

Afterwards, we all slept together and by morning, I was mostly ready for her to leave so I could gather myself back together. I have never regretted that night with her. We remained great friends and would've probably had more fun with her but she got engaged and we parted ways. 

How did this threesome make my husband feel?? Like a king. Like the proverbial king being fed grapes by his beautiful harem. It was all about him. We were there to make him feel wanted and desired and special. Guys love watching women naked and pleasing one another. It's even better if it's NOT porn and the women are really enjoying what they're doing to one another, not just performing for you. That's not any fun. When she made me cum, he felt like the luckiest guy on the planet, because that let him know that I wasn't jealous or feeling insecure or threatened in any way. I was participating because I WANTED  to be there. I was having as much fun as him. Did I have uncomfortable feelings? Did I have moments of insecurity and jealousy? Of course I did! BUT I got over them. There's no way to describe how life-changing it can be to get over feeling competitive of another woman for your man. Or any man. Just being secure enough in yourself to enjoy another woman's body and affections and not put a label on it. It didn't turn me gay and I'm able to say I am more open sexually now because of that encounter.

And I had quite a few more since. 

So to wrap it up, a threesome is about feeling loved and desired and doted on. It's sharing and enjoying each other's bodies equally, giving pleasure and receiving pleasure in emotionally and physically healthy ways.

I think everyone should have this experience, I truly do. 

Will I find another girl to share my Jordan with? 

Absolutely not. 

































































































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