With Father's Day coming up last weekend, I wanted to get my husband something REALLY special. He's a great cook and has been wanting a stainless steel cooking set, and I was all ready to buy one for him when I was like, "yikes they're almost $200" and I walked out of the store with a better idea!!!
TAKE HIM TO THE STRIP CLUB!!!
It was around 7:30 pm, I'd just gotten off work, and I furiously started texting our sexy group of friends to join us. Within minutes, I had a group of 9 of us all meeting at 11:30.
So we went to dinner first, just hubby and I, and had a simply delectable dinner at our fav restaurant and finished off a bottle of wine. We drove the half hour or so drive to the club, and it was PACKED!!! Now, the only other time we'd been to this strip club was around 3 years ago with my former boss and former co-workers. We had paid for a private lap dance from this super hot Russian girl and I had discovered one of my co-workers is quite into boobies (we are still friends and she has 3 kids now with her boyfriend).
I kept giggling while hubby and I were having dinner as my phone was blowing up with texts from our sexy friends. I hadn't yet told him what our plans were and he was going crazy not knowing what I was up to!!! When I finally told him he was SO excited!! He laughed when I told him, "I was going to buy you pots and pans but thought this would be more fun, and cost about the same!!!" hehehehehe
So we got there and got in free (the bouncer told us about a password we could use) so that was cool! The place was thumping so hard you could feel the pounding in your stomach. It was dark and lights flashing and more skin than you could imagine. We pulled together two tables and a bunch of chairs and the cocktail server came right over. The stage is in a sort of large horseshoe with the tables in the center and around it, as well as chairs lined up right up against the stage. So we sat back a little ways over to the right, with one pole just to our right.
OH. MY. GOD.
I looked to see who was onstage and it was a "little person". She was quite a performer. She was topless and doing handstands and shaking her infant-sized ass in men's faces. I couldn't believe it. I'd never seen anything so disturbing in my life. I'm sorry, I don't judge and I thought she was amazingly so confident with her body it was impressive but yikes there was just something about her small stature that reminded me of a toddler and that was disturbing.
And she was apparently the star of the show. She was the only girl that got the whole stage to herself; BOTH sides of the horseshoe. And we saw a well-dressed gentleman with a stack of money just tossing them at her one at a time as if he were a bank teller counting a large stack. I've never seen anyone do that before, it was incredible. And when she was done with her march back and forth and after her pole dancing (which was phenomenal) she left the stage and some hired guy with a small black bucket crouched back and forth picking up all her cash. It was unbelievable. I just couldn't see her as sexy no matter what; maybe it's cuz I've got children and she just looked like a 4 year old to me I just couldn't really look at her without feeling icky.
Finally the parade of half-naked women began. There must've been 20 scantily clad girls in their early 20's (if not late teens) and they were all such an interesting bunch. I think all women should go to strip clubs and if there are any women out there that feel insecure if their man looks at another woman they just fucking need to get over it!!! I love how I don't have an insecure bone in my body at these places. Which isn't to say I have no insecure bones because I have quite a few but not at a strip club!!!
There were all sizes of women. I had no idea, really, how different we women all are. No wonder men can't get enough of us!!! There were black women with big boobs and big booties. Asian women with tiny breasts and tiny bodies and that long, gorgeous, jet-black hair. There were lots of tattoos and piercings, some with breasts so small they were basically just protruding nipples. There were women with Beyonce-waists, so tiny yet their asses as huge as Nikki Minaj's. I saw breasts so large I wanted to bury my face in them, and I saw breasts that were obviously fake but most were just natural in all their saggy naturalness. Yes, saggy, and these girls were more than 20 years younger than me.
And more than a few had a few extra pounds on themselves. And they were still sexy.
So we watched the parade, and it was fun. The music was thumping hard and it was so loud we had to scream to talk to each other. My three 40+ friends were clearly hotter than any of the girls on stage, and I started to really wonder about the young guys sitting alongside the stage. You know, the ones with the dollar bills getting their faces squished into the dancer's boobies??
My friends and I are just about the horniest women I know, and we are all there BECAUSE WE ARE HORNY BITCHES. And these guys are ignoring us, and paying attention to the dancers. I get it, they're up there performing and half-naked. BUT THERE'S NOT A CHANCE IN HELL ANY OF THEM WILL GO HOME WITH YOU. WE MIGHT.
Soooooo....I'm just watching them getting their rocks off, the dancers gyrating their pussies just out of the guys' reach, smashing their boobs in their faces, and the guys just throwing money at them. Good for them!! That's what you do at a strip club!! BUT HEY!!! THERE ARE HOTTER CHICKS SITTING BEHIND YOU GETTING WET TOO AND HOPING FOR A GOOD LAY TONIGHT DUDES.
So we were all deciding which girl we all liked the best and we all liked different girls. My one friend was into this totally skinny rocker-type platinum blonde girl with a jagged pixie hair cut. My other friend liked a curvier girl with longish brown hair, and the other couldnt' make up her mind. At this point, the parade of girls started to come towards us; the girls choosing girls and boys they liked and pairing off with them. One by one, my friends paired off with the girls they liked and disappeared. My hubby and I and my friends' hubby were left sitting there like forgotten Valentines.
I didn't come there to just sit and let everyone else have more fun than me!!!
I had stopped at an ATM and had $300 burning a hole in my wallet. I swivelled my chair around and saw several dancers that were just standing there unattached, waiting for someone to pair up with. One was just a ways behind us and she was adorable. I jumped up and went over to her and said hi and asked her if my hubby and I could have a private dance with her together? In a very girlish, high-pitched cute voice she responded, "SURE!" and I motioned for my hubby to come over. I grabbed him by the hand and led him over to her.
We followed her across the place, and she'd turn her head and chat to us, very animated and sweet. She was gorgeous. She looked barely 20. Very curvy body, totally different body-type than me. Long blonde hair and tiny boobs. She was dressed in a white bikini that had a very pretty gold chain linking the top to the bottom down her back.
She stopped at the bar and told us she wanted to do a shot first, called a "Payday" hahahaha and so she motioned for the bartender to come over and he made us two. I told her I was the DD so we decided we'd share one. Hubby drank his and she sipped first and I finished her shot. It was deeeeeee-licious!!!I could've had several but made sure I didn't hahaha
Then she led us to a table where she had to check in with some guy first, and we had to pay $20. I guess it's to make sure she gets paid SOMETHING cuz once people get horny I guess they can become assholes hahaha I dont' know!
My girlfriends had told me how it worked since apparently, they'd been to this club before. $40 gets you a simple lap dance. $80 gets you a little more, and for $300 they take you to the opposite side of the club from where we were at and anything goes. My hubby has always said he can't get turned on paying someone to pay attention to him, so he wasn't interested in that. He likes watching me with women so that's what I wanted to give him for Father's Day!!!!
So she led us into this dark room that looked a lot like restaurant booths with the tables taken out. My hubby and I sat down next to each other and she proceeded to talk to us about how she was from Iowa, her name was "Chelsea" (probably not her real name) while she grinded her pussy onto mine. It was hot and fun!!! She'd turn around and shake her booty in my face then lower herself onto me. I asked her if I could touch her and she said, 'YES CUZ YOU'RE A GIRL!!" so that turned my hubby on quick. She gave him some attention too of course, grinding her pussy backwards onto him and he loved it. She'd shake those tiny titties in his face and I saw him smiling. It was hot.
I didn't want to be disrespectful so the only place I would touch her would be her back and the outside of her thighs. I didn't want to be grabby and gross. I assumed if she wanted me to touch her elsewhere she'd grab my hand and put it there but she didn't.
She was soft and smelled soooo good. I loved her long hair swishing on me. It reminded me of Jordan and his long hair. I thought, "I could like girls. I should pursue this!" and soon we were done. My hubby and I were horny bastards at this point and soon after left. We couldn't keep our hands off each other and fucked each other like crazy when we got home.
It was awesome.