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Monday, July 26, 2010

6 days to go till Mickey's here!

It seems I'm where I was a year ago, in that I'm not really sure how to act or feel about Mickey coming here. I mean, I'm soooo totally excited, but even though my hubby paid for his plane ticket here, that doesn't mean he'll actually show up. Although I don't think he'd do that this time; we actually talked on the phone a couple of nights ago; he was saying he had family out here and his grandfather is dying and he really wants to see him. How they are all excited to see him, and are planning a party for him. 
He seems less flighty than he used to be; he's had some adversity so I think that has matured him a little bit. He's gotten in trouble with the law....something about a rape charge that was eventually dropped. He said he was drunk and the girl turned out to be 16. Hmmm huge red flag Anna? Hmm. Well, like I said, if I ever got to know him better, and take some of the mystery away, I knew I'd obsess about him less. I'm turned off by that----it's a big buzz-kill for sure. I think he's grateful he's not in jail and forever "Scarlett Lettered" as a sex offender. I also don't think he's got a GF--although there's a girl on his FB page that says she's "in a relationship" with him.

I'm SOOOOO glad he's coming! I do think the encounter will heal me and help me move on. I know that sounds fucking twisted---I know it is---but I really get now how I'm trying to fix my fucked up childhood through Mickey. He has too much power over me. I love having sex with him--but the real healing would be if I could talk to him. He really opened up to me on the phone--I get the feeling he might actually be softening about his commitment phobia. I don't know.

So, here's the plan--my hubby and I have been excitedly talking about what we're going to do with him! We are both going to go to the airport to pick him groin tingles as I write those words!! I told Mickey about a cool bar my hubby and I love to go to and I want to take him there. We can eat and have a few drinks (and hopefully talk!!! Don't guys get that to get in our pants you gotta get in our heads first???) Then take him back to our house. I'm farming out my kids for the night. I told him I want to skinny dip in our pool and fuck him in every room in the house. He said he's game for anything! "Even a 3sum?" I asked him. He answered, "I'm your slave", so I'm fucking stoked!!! My hubby said I could be alone with him too. MMmmm I'm gonna slap him during sex. I thought of it just now....I'll get him back but turn him on at the same time. 

I love that I've got the power this time. NOT him. As he said himself, "you're paying for everything, I'm all yours." So there will be no running out of hotel rooms this time, unless it's done by me. 

Oh, and BTW, haven't heard a peep from B. What another asshole. I'm good enough to have his baby but he can't add me to his FB? or return any of my texts? What a loser. He's so full of himself. Well, he was fun. And I can always blackmail him if he gets really big....I've kept all his texts. LOL I'd never do that but it's fun to think about when I start to miss him.

Mickey will be here in 6 days!!!!!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

OMG!! Mickey's coming to see me in 2 weeks!

"I got the time off.....I'm all yours", Mickey texted me. OMG I just melted reading it! Yep, it's true-- Mickey's going to be here in 2 weeks! It doesn't seem real. I don't want to fuck it up or it to go badly like the time I flew 800 miles to see him. He's coming to ME this time!! 

I bought his plane ticket last night! I learned what his middle name is and that was sweet. Yes, of course, my hubby knows. I wouldn't see Mickey without his blessing. He knows what Mickey means to me. I look at this as an opportunity to put the past in the past, and maybe forge ahead a new relationship with Mickey. I don't really know what kind of relationship that may be....from the very beginning 4 years ago, when we first spent the night together, all I wanted was a happy little threesome. We both fell in love with him; we both wanted to rescue him, make him happy, be with him. Maybe that's how it'll end up this time. That's what I'd love.

Most women wouldn't have given him this second, third, fourth chance, whatever the hell it is. He's hurt me so many times I've lost count, but I know he's broken my heart twice. He's unreliable, he's secretive, he's a liar, he's a scoundrel (i just love that word) he truly is. I think he's incapable of sustaining anything serious but it's because he's wounded that I feel like I understand, and forgive him. It's the mom in me that wants to nurture him. The lover in me wants to please him.

It's as if I can't remember how hurt I was that day he walked out of the hotel room and left me there, naked on the bed, lying to me about a phone call he was going to make and "be right back". Ironically, it happened to be the day Michael Jackson died (which has absolutely NOTHING at all to do with the story!) I don't know how or why I forgive him, I guess he doesn't really deserve it. But somehow, despite it all, we've stayed in touch, and in 2 weeks he's going to be here.

We've had some interesting conversations....he's actually phoned me several times and a few days ago we talked for nearly 45 min!! A record that's for sure! I don't quite know what's going on with him, but he seems to be opening up to me for the first time. It's sooooo nice to feel like I'm getting to know him. I've always felt that if I knew him better--if some of the mystery was gone, I'd obsess about him less. That I'd be able to see him for who he truly is, not who I want him to be.  Mostly we text, but I've actually got a voicemail I've kept, just to hear his sexy voice. Calling is not really his forte; if he can text he'd rather do that. An avoider. So, I've really enjoyed talking to him this last week, arranging plans.

My problem is, I had high expectations when I went to see him a year ago, and things didn't go well. Yeah, we had sex, but it wasn't amazing, it was like we really didn't even click. The truth was, I was sooo excited to see him, I was all nerves. AND I was supremely hung over from bar-hopping with my hubby the night before, waiting endlessly to see Mickey, who never materialized. Sporadic texts throughout the night, claiming one reason and another. I went to bed drunk and horny and mixed up. A midnight text inquiring about an afternoon rendezvous from him, and, of course, all was forgiven.

By the time he showed up, I realized I had only gotten myself physically ready to see him, not emotionally. I looked great--122 pounds, hair recently colored, tan and sexy. He was seeing me at my best. 

I really couldn't believe he showed up. There he was at my hotel door. As cute as I'd remembered. Just fucking, smoking hot. Sexy blue eyes, longish black hair, and that smile and dimples. Shit. I was a hungover mess, although in an attractive shell. I look back and realize I set the tone by just standing there.....I was in shock. I opened the door and just stared at him, in disbelief. I should've grabbed him and hugged him and kissed him. Instead, I was shy, self-protective, and uneasy. I sure hope I don't act that way this time.

I'm hoping not to be alone with him this time, maybe if my hubby comes with me to pick him up from the airport it'll be easier. He told me he's old enough to drink now (legally, LOL) and so I want to take him out to talk. Break the ice. I didn't get to do that before. For me, flirting and sipping a drink and feeling the walls come down is great foreplay. I never get enough of those blue eyes and that smile, and sexy voice, I fantasize about sitting across the table from him and just listening to him talk. Watching his mannerisms. That to me is sexy.

Of course I want sex....but I think just as much, I want understanding. I want to know what makes him tick. Why did he leave me like that? I'm going to try not to ask. Cuz when I asked him why he moved away 4 years ago without saying goodbye it made things sooo awkward between us. But I think I get it now....goodbyes are horrendous. I absolutely hate them. They're so uncomfortable. 

It's after 2 am and I'm falling asleep. I'm trying to sort out how I feel, and at the same time, try to diet LOL cuz I've gained about 5 pounds and feel insecure at the moment. It doesn't help that B is completely ignoring me now. I'm serious.....after being with B, I was like, "Mickey who??" I felt myself really crushing on him and it felt so good. I was soooo comfortable with him, not second-guessing myself constantly like I do with Mickey. I thought, hmmm, this is soo nice, he's so complimentary, I know he's totally into me, this is sexy and hot and comfortable all at the same time. But it's been a week and nada. Nothing. Zilch. I texted him while I wrote this, "hi sexy", and no response. So I feel crappy about myself cuz I'm not one of his model buddies. I'm not 25, I'm just me. And he liked "just me" for the last 4 months....and I know I was beligerent, texting him drunk. SUCH a bad idea. Damn it! But we still got together, and it was great.

I have to plan for my emotions when Mickey gets here. I want to be cute, I want to be fun and sexy, and I want to be honest. I want HIM to be honest. He's agreed to be my sex slave since we're paying his way out here. I fucking cannot WAIT!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, July 12, 2010

Meeting B! A fantasy fulfilled

B and I finally got together yesterday! OMG I am still so sore! He is huge--he's got a 10 inch cock! Fucking him was amazing. He said to me on the phone the day before, "you look so tiny, I know I'm going to hurt you." I told him, "I think I'll know what to do with that big cock of yours baby. Don't worry." As it turned out, thank GOD he was gentle!!

My wonderful horny hubby made a hotel reservation for me in Hollywood near his house--it was actually only 4 miles away! I had other friends I was planning on visiting too....but B was my reason for being in LA in the first place. I was determined to meet him. And it's not just cuz he's an actor and model, but really cuz he is just so fucking hot. He calls me all the time, his voice is sooo sexy, and he's always horny, and he is sooo into me!! How lucky can I get?? How many 40-something year old women get 26 year old guys to begin with? AND he's on TV? OMG and he's truly gorgeous.

So he knew I was coming to LA, couldn't wait to see me, yeah yeah yeah only to stand me up Friday night. Fucker. I was so pissed off at him I de-friended him off my Facebook. I didn't want to completely blow my chance with him just in I texted him I was shocked and disappointed and called him a poser. He texted me right back he was sorry, he was moving all day and shit. I know he's a liar but I didn't care, i still wanted to fuck him, so, of course, I forgave him.

He texted me first thing the next morning "let's meet today". I was still pissed off. I said, "sorry, I can't." Then I was like, hello?? Isn't he the reason you're even in LA??? I texted him right back, "Damn boy, you're such a tease!" I told him I had to check out at noon and it was fucking 11:45, so i said I'd come to his house. He texted me directions--he really was only 4 miles away! So I put on my new white sundress (no panties--the ones I brought showed through, going ninja wasn't really planned) and Marc Jacobs wedgies (5 inch heels, so sexy) and my hair turned out great too. I took the elevator down and handed the valet my ticket. I knew I looked good...the valet guys were swarming me like flies on shit. I put my sunglasses on and smiled, thinking about that hot guy I was going to fuck. I got in my car and openend the sunroof, turned on some Lady Gaga, revved my engine and off I went.

The directions he gave me were easy until I got to his street--fuck he lives at the top of a drive that's just like Mulholland!! It's a treacherous road, hardly room for 2 cars, and no way to turn around if you go too far. Thank GOD I have a little car, I was able to navigate it pretty well, but I had trouble finding his house. B and I were texting and calling back and forth--he said he was outside waiting for me. I was practically panting in anticipation! Where the fuck was his fucking house??? Every house on the drive was clearly multi-million dollar mansions. I was like, damn, this 26 year old is fucking rich! The houses themselves were set back off the road and mostly all you could see driving by them were security gates. I stopped at one house that was just one number off of his and had a gardener. In my limited Spanish, I decided to ask for help finding his house. No luck. Finally, B and I figured out where I was--I just needed to drive a little higher up. He was outside looking for me. He said for me to look for a "for sale" sign since he'd just moved in.

I actually drove right past him! His house number was even, and so i was looking left cuz the houses on the left were even-numbered. He was on my right and whistled a wolf whistle and I slammed on my brakes. I turned and there he was. He smiled right away and I grinned back. He was as gorgeous in person as he is on TV. His long, wavy brown hair floating and shiny in the Hollywood sun, he walked over to the passenger-side door and got in. We smiled googly-eyes at each other and said a breathy "hi" to each other. (I instantly thought--- he reminds me of Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean! minus the weird beard. Jack Sparrow's messy, long brown hair and confident swagger). B's big brown eyes sparkled as he directed me to go up a little ways, make a U-turn and showed me where to park. I did as I was told.

I shut off the engine, put the car in park and we just looked at each other. He just had the sweetest smile on his face, the kind of smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes and revealed dimples. What a fucking cutie! His features were smaller than I expected. Seeing his modeling pics, he appeared over 6 feet tall and about 180--he was more like 5'10" and 150, if that. He was perfect.

The sunlight off his hair through the sunroof was shimmery and his sparkly brown eyes were lit up like a Hollywood premiere. We sat there and giggled at each other. I felt completely at ease with him, like I'd known him forever, this beautiful near-stranger. After all the texts and phone calls, we felt comfortable together and familiar with each other. He told me I was prettier than my pics, loved my dress and thanked me for getting dressed up for him! In a sexy voice as smooth as pudding, he purred how he liked my tan legs, "very sexy". His eyes drank me up from head to manicured toe, and he liked what he saw. "Mmmm, nice breasts too," he said with a mischievous grin. "Thank you!" I smiled back. I was feeling pretty good about myself.

He had this demure-like posturing that was a stark contrast to his brash bad-boy talk, and I loved it. He was sweet and kind and kind of shy. I told him I thought he was beautiful (I think I told him that like 10 times while I was with him!) and I rubbed his chest. He started his nasty talk and unzipped his board-shorts to show me his big cock. He wanted to give me a 'sneak peak" to make sure I still wanted him! I laughed and said, "sweetie, if I like your face, I'll love your cock." But it was nice to look at, that's for sure! And jeez, it WAS big! Damn! So there I am, parked in my car in one of the most exclusive neighborhoods 3 miles up the Hollywood Hills, and this hot, rich actor is sitting next to me with his 10 inch cock out for display and my approval! I was like, did I die and go to heaven??? I stroked it lovingly and assured him it would do, and we giggled together. "Let's go inside", he suggested, and I agreed. He closed my sunroof for me, and the electric windows, and commented on my car (he loved it). He told me about his vintage Chevy Nova that was in the shop. I honestly can't remember why--I guess I'd tuned him out staring at his opened zipper. We got out, and he came over to my side, and I took his hand in mine. It was small, and instantly he reminded me of Mickey. Hmmm.

His house was down a steep sloped driveway which wasn't easy to navigate in 5 inch heels. He held my hand strongly and helped guide me down the path. The house was actually quite dumpy looking. It was clearly a steal....maybe a foreclosure? He said he had roommates and one was home. I pointed out his surfboard, which I'd recognized from one of his modeling pics. There was no landscaping and it did look like he'd just moved in. His room had its own entrance off the patio, with a full bathroom off to the side. The bathroom was totally vintage, with the coolest bluish-green sink and paint job, and he said the house was built in like 1930's or something. It was a small room, barely room for a bed and a dresser but not much bigger. It had this big blue thing that looked like a square tent, and I asked him what it was. He opened the flap to show me he had a whole marijuana garden growing in it! Right in his bedroom! I was like, whoa that's amazing. He had incense burning, and it smelled wicked and sexy. Just like him.

He laid down on his bed, and just kept smiling at me. He was clearly happy and relaxed, and I figured probably a little high. If I hadn't had to drive home, I'd have suggested we smoke a little pot together. I had my phone and called my hubby and asked B if he minded if he listened. He thought it was cool. I chatted with my hubby for a few seconds and he said he'd be stroking his cock while I fucked my model/actor boy. I put the phone on the ground next to the bed, and B took off his shorts to fully reveal all 10 inches of God-given cock, all for me. I couldn't WAIT to get started!!!

He grabbed it with both hands, and showed me how he had two fists around it and needed a third. I smiled and opened a bottle of lube and dripped it on his dick. He loved the way it felt. I took the tip in my mouth a flicked my tongue, teasing him. He laid back and closed his eyes and just enjoyed my blow-job. He moaned and stroked my hair and purred to me how good I was. I just continued to suck, lick, and enjoy his dick. He asked me if i could "deep throat" and i said no, but not to worry, he'd enjoy it anyway and he did. Blow-jobs are my specialty LOL so I showed him what I'm good at. He squirmed and moaned and played with my hair. I loved looking up now and then to see the pleasure on his face. I thought of my husband, listening intently on his phone, stroking his own huge cock. Yummy! I wished he was here, watching, taking pictures, and me getting to have them both at the same time. Mmmmm....He sucked on my nipples and played with them, mentioning how hard they were getting. I was still wearing my dress--as I straddled him, I gave him a peek at my pussy. His eyes got big, and another smile as he said, "no panties!" and then, "you're pierced there? Oh my God....." and he just stared. He fingered me a little and I said I loved it.

I wanted to kiss B badly. He's got full lips that looked so juicy. I slurped his cock out of my mouth, rose up and asked him if I could kiss him. He whispered "yeah!" and I pressed my lips to his. His tongue was eager and we french-kissed hungrily. He was a great kissser. I love kissing and I LOVED kissing B! It was obvious he felt the same for me. Then we broke apart and he said he wanted to go inside me. "Let's make a baby!!" he gleefully exclaimed. I smiled and said, "oh yeah". I was ready. He aimed his enormous cock at my pussy and entered me. Instantly we were one. It felt sooooooo good. I loved being on top. I rocked and fucked him like a racehorse. He pulled me close and held me tight in his arms and as we fucked, he kissed me deeply and hungrily. It was awesome, truly wonderful. I definitely felt a connection with him that went beyond just sex. As I fucked him, I lifted his legs and brought him closer to me. Mmmm yummy.

After some deep thrusting and kissing, he gently moved my body so that I was flipped over. He whispered for me to lay on my stomach. His hands were gentle as he put them on my hips and entered me from behind. Damn that huge cock hurt in that position! He talked to me, telling me sweetly he'd go slowly, and he did. He knew how to manuever that huge cock of his and was thoughtful of how it felt for me. He could've been a jerk and just fucked me hard and got off but he didn't. He was very respectful and sweet. He fucked me in and out, in and out, and when he'd go in, it hurt deep inside but felt awesome at the same time. I remembered my hubby was listening, and realized he may not be able to hear from where I'd put the phone. I told B "just a sec", and leaned over to the floor and picked it up. I said hello to my sexy hubby and asked him if he was enjoying listening, and he said oh yeah, he was stroking his cock. "Good!" I said, and B took the phone from me and put it on his headboard so my hubby could hear us better. B's phone was ringing non-stop. I told him, "someone's trying to get ahold of you." He said, "It's always like that." --sigh--such is the life of a movie star LOL

B gently flipped me over again, and said he was ready. He was now over me, his enormous erect cock pointing at me. His tousled brown hair hung down and I loved pushing it out of his eyes. "Let's make a baby!" he said again, and with his hand, aimed his cock into my pussy and pushed it in gently. He liked going in and out slowly, whispering to me the whole time what he was doing, trying to be as gentle as possible. He was amazing. He was clearly very self-aware and comfortable with his body, and clearly enjoying me as well.

As he thrusted gently, he took my legs up so they were up in the air to his shoulders. "I want to go deep as I can", he whispered, "so I can get my sperm in there to get you pregnant!" As he fucked me and rocked and I screamed a little every time he got as deep as he could go. He said he was ready, and i said "ok baby, I wanna watch your face", and he tilted his head back, closed his eyes, and grabbed my legs even harder and gave it one last deep thrust. I shouted "Ow!!" and moved his hair again from his eyes so I could see his face, his long hair flopping about as he fucked me. He orgasmed quietly; I actually asked him if he came! (usually a girl doesn't have to ask! LOL) he pulled out slowly and marvelled at the amount of liquid he'd produced. I giggled and and he flopped down on his back next to me. I put my arm around him and he turned and held me close. He smiled at me and sighed. Just then a knock on his door. It was "the roommate". He said, "hang on, I'm not decent", I asked him, "do you want me to get dressed?" He said, "no, just hang on", and he lovingly took the blanket and covered me up, folding and pulling it several times to get it just right over my naked body. Then he put his shorts and shirt back on, and went to the door, opened it, and went out and closed it behind him. I got my phone, talked to my hubby for a minute or so, to make sure he was ok. I asked him, 'did you come too?" he said, "yeah, same time as B did!" I thought that was awesome. We said our I-love-yous and hung up.

B was only gone a minute or two, and he apologized when he came back. He sat next to me on the bed, and his phone was still chiming. He picked it up and apologized that he had to send a text. He told me all about how his friend had helped him move---had a white van it was hard getting it up the hill! I laughed and said "I bet!!" He told me about how he still had stuff in his old apartment and was trying to set up a time to move it with this friend. I thought, Hmmm Mickey, see? This is how MATURE guys behave!! We chatted about, well, mostly him. I wanted to get to know as much as i could about him. I asked him where he was from (New York); he'd moved out to LA when he was 22, all alone. I think he said he stopped briefly in Texas. He said he couldn't believe he was a model--I stroked his jawbone and chin--scruffy with a 5:00 o'clock shadow--- and told him he had great features and he photographed well. He liked that and thanked me. We talked a little about the house, the view, his room--he showed me a cool cabinet that had his TV (and a huge bong LOL). I told him I had seen him on TV, but that I was bummed I'd Tivo'd a show and it didn't record. He said it comes OnDemand in 4 days, that I should try it again. I said I would. He also told me about something neat he keeps on his computer--he called it his "vision". He puts on it his dreams and goals and it helps him stay focused. I thought that was neat. He clearly is on the fast-track....he has a fan club and quite a following already. I thought of how jealous his fans would be of me right now.

I felt so comfortable laying there while we talked. I was self-conscious though....I was buck naked (he'd taken the blanket off of me when he got back) and he was dressed. I was smarter this time than I'd been with Mickey.....I was paying attention to his non-verbal signs. Since he didn't get undressed, I assumed he was done with me, and I wanted to keep my dignity. I asked him if I should get going---if he had things to do or if he wanted me to stay longer. He was such a gentleman. He apologized with that sexy, shy look of his and said, yeah, he had stuff he had to do. He actually had a BBQ with one of the cast members at 3:30 and damn it I wished he'd asked me to go with him. That would've been soooo awesome!!!!! But no, he didn't. I said, "how fun!" and then said I had to get home. He asked how long the drive was--I said, "about 3 hours the way I drive!" he laughed. I asked him if he had a towel and he apologized again and said, "oh of course" and got me one. I got out of his bed, cleaned myself up while he turned away, and put it down on a pile of clothes he had on the floor. We talked about the awesome bathroom and I found my dress and put it on. When I went to zip up the back, he motioned for me to come to him so he could zip it for me. I thought that was sweet and gentlemanly of him. I walked over to him, and turned around so he could zip it, and he did. He reminded me to get my phone and purse, and shoes.

He reminded me too of the difficult walk to my car--uphill----and would I like to borrow a pair of flip-flops? I took him up on the offer! He said, "they're probably too big, but they'll be ok," and they were. I made sure I had everything. He put his sunglasses on, and I put mine on too, and he opened his door for me. We walked out through the patio again, my holding my strappy heels in my right hand and holding his hand with my left. He helped me navigate the steps back up. We got to the landing at the top of the stairs, just a short flat area before the steep hill, when something shiny caught my eye. It was a new penny! I exclaimed, "Look!" and stopped to pick it up. As I gazed at it, he put his fingers on mine to see it better, and we both said, "it's heads-up! That's good luck!" and he smiled another one of his gorgeous grins at me. He put his arm around my waist, and I followed suit, and he said, "Hmmm, maybe I got you pregnant!" I said, "Maybe!!" and then our hands found each other again. He helped me up the steep hill, and we walked the narrow road to my car, still hand-in-hand. I felt happy and sexy.

I "beep-beep'd" my car unlocked and opened my door. I took off his flip-flops and as I did he said, "Oh! Thanks!" and wobbly from the uneven road and a sore vagina, I had a little trouble putting my heels back on. He held my arm for suppport. I tossed my purse down on the passenger seat, plugged my phone in, and keys in hand, turned to him. I wish I could remember what we said--but it was just a short goodbye, a "thanks for coming", and then he said something again about maybe he got me pregnant. He mentioned something about how he wouldn't mind a threesome next time--remember, I found him on a Craigslist ad I posted when my hubby and I were in LA for our anniversary in April. He'd responded too late though--we'd already left. I said, 'whoa, totally, that'd be HOT!"

He was smiling, and all I could think was how absolutely adorable he was, and how if I were 20 years younger, I'd be his girlfriend. Fuck father time!! We hugged and kissed a quick kiss, and I got in. He walked to the passenger side, and I turned on my engine, revved it good, turned the wheel and turned to see him. He blew a kiss goodbye and I did too. I just drank up the moment, looked at him one last time. I honked a cute "beep beep" at him and sped off.

I pulled over a little ways down the hill to call my hubby, and make sure he was ok. I was eager to get home, and wished it wasn't going to take me 3 or 4 hours to get there. My heart was 200 miles away. It felt good to hear his voice--I was relieved he wasn't upset or regretting letting me go see B. It was good all-around. He'd come the same time B did and thought it was sooo hot.

I turned the radio to my favorite LA station, KROQ-FM-106.7 and Mickey Avalon was singing, "My Dick". I laughed at the irony. Manuevering my way down the hill, I was sore and happy, and couldn't stop smiling.