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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

There's a WIFE?????

Yesterday I was nonchalantly checking my yahoo messenger to see if I had any messages from overnight when I see E was online. Girls and boys, if you've been reading my blogs, you'll remember him from Dec. 9 under the title "Two Guys in One Afternoon". He was someone I'd met on a certain dating website and we had a GREAT time together. WELL-------we were chatting away yesterday morning. We had chatted  once or twice since that fun day, and he'd told me his girlfriend had found his profile and some incriminating text messages, so he was on the "down low" for awhile. He said that he didn't know when he'd be able to see me again and I said whatever that's fine. I couldn't care less either way. I wasn't comfortable with the idea of him cheating on her but since they weren't married it seemed less egregious. Not my burden to bear but I did think it wasn't a great idea.

So yesterday morning we're chatting away, he's telling me he's not doing well, that his GF is "pissed" and what should he tell her? How can he make it better? I was giving him advice such as, "well, since you had a kid you should try to work it out with her", and "counseling is a good idea". He was asking me if I should "tell her the truth" and I said "what does she know?" and that sort of banter. WELL then I said, "you need to search your heart and find out what YOU want", to which I got this reply--"I'm his WIFE and that's exactly what I'm trying to figure out!" I was stunned. My head spun around and I said, "What??" to which she replied, "so I guess he didn't tell you he was married before he had a kid?" I went invisible and texted him immediately.

I told him, "you need to call me asap." He texted right back, "I'm in a meeting, what's up?" I told him his wife was posing as him on Yahoo messenger and that she was freaking out. I took pics of the conversation with my iPhone and sent them to him. He told me to just tell her the truth. I started texting my hubby so he could give me advice. He was concerned she'd come after me so told me to take a breath and think it through. E is texting me back, saying, "just do it. Just tell her and I'll clean up the mess." I told him, 'no, that's not my cross to bear. If I tell her, it'll make it worse for you. She'll never forget how she found out--"YOUR WHORE HAD TO TELL ME!!!", I could imagine. He was like, "shit shit shit shit shit." THEN------I guess he wasn't in a meeting---OR at work-----SHE gets on his phone and says, "This is his wife again. I just want to know the truth. Did you have sex with my husband?" I ignored her, my heart pounding. The texts kept coming rapid-fire, one after another. She was begging me to tell her. I kept ignoring her. She said, "woman to woman, wouldn't you want to know?" that sort of thing. I was just so upset for her. I felt so bad. I didn't know he was married! So I finally decided that since they have a kid together, I wouldn't tell her the truth. After all, I wasn't in love with the guy (she asked me if I was), it was just sex, just one time, and for all I know, his only transgression and obviously he loved her enough to be trying to make things right. He had told me he'd deleted his profile and hadn't talked to any women since she found the profile and messages. He was really trying to mend things.

So.......I told her, "no, I've never even met him. I can hardly remember him. I'm married too, we're swingers, and I talk to lots of guys." The questions kept coming. "Well how come then you said "the positions we did?" (I had asked him, does she know about me to the extent of the positions we did?) soI said I meant did he do them with other women. That i was just trying to help him mend his relationship with you. That I didn't know he was married." She seemed satisfied with my answers, thanked me, and told me the number would be deleted so if he wanted to contact me he would. I told her, "anytime, take care", and that was that.

Ok so lesson learned. If a guy has a GF it might be a WIFE, and if she doesn't know he's with me, he shouldn't be with me. My husband KNOWS I'm with him. It's only right. Swingers don't cheat on their spouses, and we don't like knowing the person we're with is cheating on someone. No matter how "hot" they are, it's just not right.

It's hard to spot a liar, especially when it comes to getting someone to have sex with you. People have been lying for centuries. Lesson learned here---ask more questions first. The truth will probably spill out.

Poor girl. He's a hottie, but it probably won't be his last affair. I hope I did the right thing.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Mickey responds--with a surprise ending

I sat there "invisible" online for several days. I couldn't stand it another minute. I was losing sleep, trying to come up with THE perfect words, THE perfect sentence, to win him back. To not attack him further JUST IN CASE HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH. I finally just simply copied and pasted the incriminating Tweet and sent it to him. Then I wrote, "This Tweet is why I said what I did", and waited. I put myself online, and he was online in a heartbeat. He wrote, "LOL that's why you freaked out?" and proceeded to explain that he doesn't have a phone, that it does belong to a friend of his. He borrows it from time to time and that he had to ask that girl something (he didn't say what, but I've seen her pic and she's not cute so I think they're just friends). He thought my rampage was funny. He was telling the truth after all.

I did tell him, "You have to understand that reading that, thinking, I don't care if you give your number to another girl, why wouldn't you give it to ME?" and he said, "I would give it to you silly! And I will when I get a phone!" I also said, "you know that if I didn't care about you I wouldn't have been hurt. And I didn't feel special anymore reading that." He was busy at the pizza place, it was Christmas Eve and they were very busy so he didn't respond as rapidly as I was writing him. I said also, "you know, it would be nice if you borrowed your friends' phone to call ME once in a while." He finally responded saying only that he didn't have my number, it got lost when he dropped his phone in water and he lost all his numbers. I said "well here it is don't lose it!!!" and I wrote it.

The last thing he said was "why do you check my tweets when you don't even follow me?" and that's where I made up a story about how I found his Twitter page (so I wouldn't look like the psycho bitch I really am).  After my explanation,  I just kind of let it hang there for a bit. Then I wrote, 'so, you love me?" and he said, "I do...don't do that again ok? You don't need to check my tweets. Just ask me next time."

Needless to say, I'm not having trouble sleeping anymore. Mickey and me are good. And it feels sooooo good.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Mickey shows his true colors

I went looking for trouble and I found it.

Mickey had been acting aloof lately. After yahoo messenging me 8 days in a row, full of sexy talk and feeling like we were really getting along, he disappeared for over a week. I wrote him, "Hey, what's going on? It's been over a week since I heard from you." He responded quickly, within a day I think, saying simply that he hadn't been working much and that he wasn't able to get online to talk to me. Ok, I understand. All was well between us.

Then two days in a row he'd be online for 12 hours straight--he'd be the first to write and say, "hey" and then after I'd respond I wouldn't hear from him again. Two days in a row he did this. Then it was spotty for another couple of days, no real communication.

So......I went looking for trouble and I found it.

Actually, I was just missing him. I was looking for any clues as to his sudden withdrawals. I googled his name and only one connection came up--a Twitter account. Now I had a Twitter account at one time but found it completely nothing more than self-flagellation and promotion, and a complete waste of time, so I had deleted my account. Then I had started a new one a few months ago, feeling like I was missing out on understanding of a new technology and thought I needed it to stay current, although I never tweet much. (I save my "tweets" for Facebook). I didn't have any followers that actually knew me anyways so I hadn't checked it in ages. So......I found his Twitter and his page is completely public!! I was shocked, since his Facebook has always been hidden. (AND might I mention he never accepted, nor ignored, my FB friend request).

So I'm scrolling down, reading his tweets, and I was able to learn a few interesting things about my Mickey and his secret life. He's fucking his old GF again (as in, "I hope you're BALD next time I see you") which made me nearly throw up. He's got a new job, claiming he's working 70 hours a week now. Oh, and he's got a cell phone. Two weeks ago he Tweeted to some girl, "why don't you just text me at blah blah blah blah blah". What did I do with this information??

*I need to stop here and clarify why finding out he had a cell phone incensed me so much. First of all, he has been telling me how he can't afford a phone. He's told me just 2 days before I found this out that "I'm going to get a phone soon so I can send you naked pictures of myself for you." Ok? That and he has led me to believe that the only way he can communicate with me is via the yahoo messenger, and ONLY when he works at a particular store cuz he doesn't have a computer anymore, or the internet, OR a phone, only his iTouch, which he can get online with if a place has free WIFI. That explains the erratic nature of his communication with me. I have accepted this from him and have felt pity on him. I've sent him money, not enough to buy a phone mind you but enough to let him know I care and want badly to stay in touch with him. AND LET'S NOT FORGET THAT IN HIS TWEET, HE WAS GIVING HIS CELL NUMBER TO ANOTHER GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*

Ok. So, knowing that I've been lied to for at least the last 2 weeks that I can prove, and feeling like I've been manipulated and used, I had to decide how to handle it. Badly, I imagine, because I was so hurt and angry I couldn't see straight. I put the phone number in my cell phone and simply texted him, "You're such an asshole!" to which someone (he refuses to admit it's him) answered, "who's this" (no punctuation, just the way Mickey writes).  I answered simply, "the person who you've been lying to about not having a phone". It went on from there, he pretended he was "not Mickey but a friend of Mickey's" and I don't even know what beef you have with him but I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a phone" and that he's "used mine for interviews and stuff". I said, ok whatever Mickey. He said, "Do you want me to tell him something for you?" to which I never responded. Then another hour later, he said, "wait how did you get my number" (again, no question mark, so Mickey) to which I never responded. Oh yahoo messenger, I had written the day before a sweet "I hope you get online soon! I miss you!" and a kissy emoticon. Armed with my new information, I got on there and wrote, "Disregard that last statement. Go fuck yourself instead." I felt strong and done with his nonsense. I hoped it would hit him like a rocket the way it hit me.

He got online and blabbered to me "what's going on I don't even know where that came from. I have no reason to hide anything and if you think I do then you can think what you like." blah blah blah. Well, I love him so much I WANT to believe him. I'd do ANYTHING for it not to be true, because it would confirm what an asshole he really is. So, what do I do? I apologize. I tell him I'm sorry I said that, that I wanted to talk to him. He seemed to care, which is what I wanted in the first place. He said he wanted to talk to me too and was leaving work but would be online the next day and can we talk then.

I thought and thought and thought about what to say. I didn't want to attack him any more than I had. There's a part of me that is hoping and praying he's not the asshole he's appearing to be.  I remembered all those women's articles on how to talk about your feelings---use "I" statements, they're honest and keep the other person from feeling defensive.  So I wrote, "I feel like I'm losing you. I feel like you haven't been truthful with me. Makes me scared. I don't want to lose you". He replied several hours later, saying he doesn't understand what's going on. "I'm sorry I don't have a phone to talk to you on right now. If you think I'm hiding things you can think what you want. What do I need to hide really?  I also had a friend say someone was talking some shit to him thinking it was me. I'm guess (sic) that was you"

I had fallen asleep and didn't see that he'd written. He obviously became impatient with my lack of response and said twenty minutes later, "I guess that (sic) it, no response. Next time I'll be able to talk with you would be wednesday I think".

I wrote back to him 7 hours later, "sorry, I fell asleep. I'll write more in the morning." Then that afternoon I wrote, "Let me know if you get online before Wed. I'm busy today", (meaning the day he last wrote) "but i'll be around tomorrow and the rest of the week to talk to you."

Today is Tuesday. He hasn't been online, hasn't posted any new tweets, but his Facebook is public now (I cancelled my friend request to him) and he mentions his new job.

My BFF has cautioned me not to say anything, that I have all the information I need. If I say anything further, I'm opening myself up to being attacked by him further. I can't handle it. I haven't been able to sleep, all I do is ruminate what to say to him. I know he wants me to explain myself while he's offline, so he can get online and read it, answer me, then jump offline again so he doesn't have to deal with me. He's been caught with his hand in the cookie jar, my BFF tells me, and he wants to blame ME for putting the cookie jar there in the first place.

I haven't told my hubby about all this. Christmas is just days away, and I vascillate between telling Mickey what I know and getting it over with, and just staying silent. My BFF tells me as long as I stay silent, I have the power. He's left to squirm and wonder WTF is up with me. I think she's right---it's just so hard to do.

BTW I had told him a week ago that I would send him a Starbucks gift card so he could go in there and use their free WIFI to write me more. I sent it to him the day before all this happened, with a sexy card and I'd printed out pics of us and my new house and family and all. He should be getting it any time now. Wonder how it'll make him feel.

I guess I just want to see what he'll do. How much does he care? I want to be the one to dump him. He told me he's never been dumped. My BFF says I'll be the first, and he'll pine for me forever.

I'm sitting with that.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Two Guys in One Afternoon! That's what noontime wine will do

All it took for me to decide, Yes, I want to have sex with you, was that picture in my mind of me 20 years from now, all wrinkled and saggy. What would that future Anna have to say about it? Would she regret saying no, or regret saying yes? Only time will tell, but at that moment, I decided Future Anna would regret saying no. Cuz the day will come when guys like him won't be thinking "She's hot! I want to have sex with her!" when they see me. Soooooo.....until then.....the answer is yes.

I told him to forget meeting at a restaurant, just come straight to my house. I liked him already. We spent so much time texting I felt like I had gotten to know him well enough. I loved his sense of humor and self-deprecating way. That's always a huge turn on for me. Someone who doesn't take themselves too seriously.

He showed up early, and I was barely ready. I had on a sexy black lacy thing with stockings and garter, black spike heels. Hair and makeup all done, a pearl choker. He was cute, with these really full lips that got my motor running. He was sort of preppy-looking, a yellow button-down shirt, dress slacks and shoes, short blonde hair and really cute nerdy glasses. Very pretty blue eyes. Holding a glass of chilled chardonnay, I offered him one but he politely declined, as he had to go back to work soon.  I felt myself relaxing with each sip, and we stood in the kitchen making chit-chat. My dog sniffed him out and gave his approval LOL I glanced at the digital clock on my stove and quickly calculated that if I was going to get naked with him I'd better do it quick---I had a little more than an hour before I had to pick up my kids from school.

I had given him a tour of the house except for the upstairs, so I slyly suggested, "would you like to see the upstairs?" and he smiled and said, "sure!", knowing exactly what I meant. I took off my high heels, since I'm a klutz and knew I'd trip trying to climb the stairs wearing them. I quickly (and I mean quickly) showed him the rooms upstairs and then went into our bedroom. That is, mine and my husband's bedroom.

He didn't waste a second.  He took my face in his hands and started kissing me with those luscious full lips. And you know what kissing leads to.....unbuckling of belts, unbuttoning of shirts, and hands grabbing and groping body parts. It was fast and furious and I loved that he took charge. It wasn't long till we were both completely naked and he was gently kissing my breasts, his hands roving all over in a way that felt soooo good.

I was so pleased to see he was shaved. There's nothing worse than a mouthful of hair during a blow-job. I licked and sucked his cock while he held my hair in a tight ponytail so he could watch. Then he fliped me over. And I mean, literally, flipped me over. He picked me up the way you carry someone over the threshhold, and ever-so-gently flipped me over. He flicked his tongue all the way from my breasts down to my pussy, and stayed there till I almost came. Then he reached over for the condom, and put it on and flipped me over again. He grabbed me by my hips and pulled me close to him and thrust his big cock in me doggy-style. Damn it felt good. Then he flipped me over again, holding my legs in the air and shoving that big cock right in. My stupid dog was outside the bedroom door howling and barking the whole time--guess he thought I was in danger and he was trying to protect me. It was funny and annoying. 

He was great in bed and I am SO glad I said yes! We laughed when we were done, cuz let's face it, sex is hilarious, all that grunting and groaning we made my dog go crazy---making eye contact with our clothes back on was a little embarassing. We made more chit-chat and I walked him to the front door. As he kissed me goodbye, I said something like, "we should do this every Wednesday" and he said, "only Wednesdays? How about every day?" and I laughed and said how fun that would be. As he walked down the driveway, I wondered if my next-door neighbor saw him and what she'd think of it. 

I didn't have much time to think, cuz my hubby was right down the road. We'd texted each other a couple times while E was here, and my hubby had a great big hard-on waiting for his turn with me. Fortunately, I still had 20 minutes so we took full advantage of it! He was so turned on, and I was too, especially since I hadn't had an orgasm. My hubby took good care of me, and he gave me a full load doggy-style. What a fun afternoon!