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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Moving on without Mickey

Looks like B may finally get his threesome with me and my hubby! We have 2 nights at the Chateau Marmont reserved for late October! If you know anything about Hollywood, you know that this is THE place to be! B lives on Mulholland Drive, which is just a short jaunt from there. We have been texting and I sent him pics of me and my hubby (naked ones too!) and he thinks we are both "sooooooooooo cute!!!" yay! (remember how we found him? We had placed a Craigslist ad in LA for a single guy for a threesome with us. He responded and although it didn't work out that night, he was clearly interested! I can't wait!

I opened my mailbox yesterday and there was a catalog for a well-known clothing store, and yep, there he was, B in several pics!!! It was an ad for teen clothes and yeah, he's 27 but obviously can pass for a teen! He had his usual 5 day shadow LOL and his long, wavy brown hair and big brown eyes and looked adorable and sexy. I took pics of the catalog and texted them to him and told him, "You were in my mailbox today!!"He loved it. He has a huge ego and I'm good at stroking it. (that's not all I'm good at stroking... hehehe).

BTW I am surprisingly FINE about Mickey's recent declaration. I think I've been through SO much with my hubby over the last six months, he just became less important to me. And he ultimately had to choose between me and her, and he chose her, and that's fine. I knew he would so I wasn't surprised. I do feel sad that we never really got very far together. There's a song that perfectly describes us but I can't think of it now. I'll post it soon as I think of it. Anyway, I guess it's over forever, but who knows. Maybe he'll marry her. She's only 21 and I see her marrying a smart professor, someone older eventually. He is not her intellectual equal and I think she will get bored with him eventually. Will he come back if she does dump him? Of course he will! Will I want him or care? Of course I will. He knows it. But I'm not holding my breath.

I've moved on too. And I'm happier than I've been in six months. It's been a long, hard, horrible journey to get here and Mickey showed his true colors--he ran. That's what he does. And then blames it on everyone else.

I'm fine without him. I miss him, but I don't miss the games he plays; the cat and mouse, the not expressing himself and disappearing for months at a time then reappearing. I hate the drama, it's not fun at all. I like Adam, he is turning out to be everything I wanted Mickey to be. Honest, direct, simple, and uncomplicated. No drama. He's the easiest person to be in a relationship with. I am happy with my hubby too, we have worked out our issues and are still working on our marriage so we never get tangled up in a mess like that ever again.

Goodbye Mickey, "one night, and one more time, thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great, see, he tastes like you but sweeter."---Fall Out Boy

Monday, August 6, 2012

Sex with two guys

The guest bedroom door had been pushed slightly ajar and I knew at that moment my hubby was watching me fucking Adam. The glow of the candlelight revealed our naked and very sweaty bodies pounding each other, out bodies slapping with each of his thrusts. It had been a long six months since we'd been together and he had actually not been with anyone since our last time together! I wasn't nearly as horny since my hubby and I have been fucking like rabbits, but I had missed him and had thought of him when he texted me from time to time.

He's only 26. Nearly half my age.

And he's super hot. Beautiful long chin-length blonde hair, straight as angel hair pasta and great to grab onto while I'm riding him. Pretty blue eyes, tall and slim, and awesome balls. (did I say that out loud???) He's kinda smallish on the other topic but it's still fun. I can take the whole thing in my mouth and not gag.

The evening started with my hubby and I sitting in a bar listening to a cover band that kinda sucked and which of course made us miss our own band and compare us. We had had a weekend with no kids! They were both out of town with their friends so we had an empty house! We started to get a little sauced which led us to want to get a little saucy hee hee so I texted Adam, thinking full well he works Saturday nights so it would just be fun texting him. He had a new work schedule and was off, and home, and bored, and my text came at a great time! He agreed to come meet us and hang out, which meant end up back at our house fucking me. Were we ready for that?????

What the hell. Why not?

Next thing I knew there he was, just as good looking as the last time I saw him, and he greeted my hubby with a very nice handshake and smiles on both guys, and a hug and kiss for me. He sat between us; it was a two-top table and we were sitting in bar stools. Very cozy. He doesn't drink alcohol because of his job; he gets random testing so he just had a Coke. My hubby ordered his fifth beer and I was on my third Grey Goose and Red Bull. It was the perfect drink combination for a night of sex.

We chatted over the band for about a half hour I think, then it was time to leave and get the party started. I asked him if he remembered how to get to our house and he smiled and said, "of course!", gave me a kiss on the mouth and we parted towards the parking lot.

I drove since my hubby had had more to drink than me. I was fine ironically; I think the adrenaline (and possibly the Red Bull) made me feel quite alert. It was about a 20 minute drive home and it was exciting knowing my "boyfriend" was following us there.

My hubby and I got home first and we kissed passionately by the front door, waiting for Adam. He whispered to me, "have fun with your boyfriend--don't forget about me." I said, "thank you babe, and I won't, don't worry!!" and he went up to our room and got in bed to wait for me. Adam was here right away and it was fun letting him in again. He took off his shoes and left them by the door, and we went straight upstairs to the guest room.

My hubby had lit some candles for both rooms, and I had brought two into the guest room. For me, nothing sets the mood like flickering candles.  I don't even remember taking off our clothes, I just remember him being in his boxers (so fucking cute!!!!) and me in my bra and panties. My hubby had given me the cutest bras when we reconciled and I was wearing one of them for my boyfriend. How sexy is THAT???

He is a fun lover. He's very silly and doesn't take sex seriously. When our bodies were slapping against each other, we were totally into it and moaning and grinding, and then he'd giggle cuz the sound was funny. I like it; I'm totally 100% comfortable with him. The only thing I don't like is he won't go down on me! I am determined to make him like it! I don't know what his problem is and I plan on addressing it eventually. Right now, I'm happy to just enjoy sex with a hot 26 year old guy who's totally into me!!!

I was conscious of my hubby watching from the doorway and it was so hot. I knew Adam didn't know he was being watched and I didn't let on. I did glance my hubby's way several times to make eye contact with him even though it was pitch black in the hall and I couldn't see him--I knew he was there watching us. I'd have preferred to have had us all in the bed together but Adam wasn't into that unfortunately.

So...I had some fun with Adam for about 1/2 hour, 45 min or so then told him, "I'll be back...I'm going to go see my hubby." He was adorable and perfect, laying there so sexy, and he said, "the most important thing is you take care of him and don't have any problems between you." HE IS GOING TO REPLACE MICKEY IF HE HASN'T ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That made me SO happy!!! He truly cares about both of us. That's just what we've always wanted. I wanted it to be Mickey, and it was for a time. That chapter is over and done with.

I left him there, sweaty and naked, laying on his back, and went to my bedroom and got in bed with my hubby. His dick was hard and ready for me, and he was full of passion. He took me in his arms and held me tight and entered me immediately. He loved the feeling of my already wet vagina and I loved having a bigger dick inside me. I loved the connection we have between much love. We made love for just a short while and he told me to go finish off my boyfriend and come back. I did what I was told.

I walked back into the candlelit guest room and my sexy boytoy was still laying on his back, waiting for me to come back to him. He turned and looked at me and smiled, and I went to him. He got hard so fast and within minutes we were back at it fucking like escaped jailbirds. I love all the different positions we get into, just like with my hubby, we are acrobats in the bedroom! My favorite thing he does is fuck me while holding me in the air, my legs wrapped around his torso and he holds my ass. It always makes him giggle and then me too as we realize how ridiculous we look. He finally came fucking me in the missionary position; he commented he was surprised he lasted so long after not having had sex for so long! I teased him, "I just can't believe a guy as hot as you hasn't had any in six months." He said he just doesn't like the young girls he meets; says they're all so immature and terrible in bed! He said I was worth waiting for. Just what I loved to hear.

I didn't bask in the afterglow too long cuz I was eager to return to my hubby. We cleaned up and kissed and I said he was welcome to spend the night, but he said that was ok, he should get going. I was fine with that. I thought it best too; I wanted to focus on my hubby and our relationship and I'd had my fun. I always said the reason the open marriage worked for me was I never spent the night with anyone; I'd fuck them and leave them. I told him, "thank you, that was awesome, hope to see you again soon," and he responded, "oh you will sexy, you will," and I left him there and walked back down the hallway to my hubby.

He greeted me again under the covers with his big hard dick and passionate kisses. I was happy to be back in his arms. He got on top of me and fucked me hard, then pulled out and went down on me since my boytoy hadn't wanted to do. I came right away; it felt so fucking good. He licked me up and down and tasted him and it was so fucking hot. He grabbed me hard and entered me again and fucked me so hard I screamed, he screamed and came so loud and forceful our dog started barking his head off! We laughed then and it was so awesome. Sweaty and exhausted, he flopped onto his back and we just panted like dogs ourselves.

What a fun night!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I became the "other woman"

Well Mickey has officially broke it off with me.  He sent me a middle-of-the-night text, "please don't send me any messages." This was in response to a heart emoticon I sent him, accidentally by the way, I had been texting my daughter hearts. I had been asleep, who knows how I sent it accidentally but anyway, yeah, that was the response I got.  I hadn't heard from him since April, and I had sent him a few texts here and there and hadn't gotten any response. I was shocked. I was completely unprepared for that. To which I wrote back, "Why don't you want to talk to me?" followed by four more texts (I was ignoring the, "please don't send me any messages" text obviously. "What happened?" "Please explain", "Did I do something to offend you?" Then, "Hmmmm, ok....8 years and no explanation". I fell asleep then and never heard another peep out of him.

Then I took my phone with me to go to the bathroom in the morning and checked my email (out of boredom, that's what i do on the toilet LOL) and he had sent me an email from his new email address.

"Sorry....please I can't mess things up with my GF I'm trying to get everything in line in my life. When you message me like you just did she sees everything". OH OK THAT'S ALL YOU HAD TO SAY. I'M BACK WITH MY GF. I WOULD'VE RESPECTED THAT ASSHOLE!

I responded; "Aw thank you for explaining! I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I wish you all the best and please know that I am always here for you." I intentionally left out, "all my love" or "love always, Anna" and all that since I knew the GF was going to see it. I thought, OK, it's over, for now, and good for him. I want him to be happy. I wasn't even upset. I knew it would end this way eventually. I haven't seen him in 2 years, two years today he came to see us before we moved here clear across the country. I knew moving here would end things as it would just be too hard with the distance. But like I said, I was ok.


After I responded, I went back to read the rest of my new email messages, and there was another by him he'd written at 6:05 am that I hadn't seen. This one I could've done without. He had made his point in the other email; my BFF thinks she put him up to it but I don't think so. This one hurt.

"Please don't contact me anymore, this whole thing has ruined my life and I can't do this anymore. Ive been hurt so much and I can't take anymore".

That was it. Did I need to hear that I ruined his life????? Jesus H Christ!!!

I don't know what happened between them. I don't know if she read this blog. I don't know if she found out that her beloved likes guys too. I don't know how much she found out about me, all I know is I have left her alone and would never hurt her OR him. I think she's adorable and good for him; why on earth would I hurt her??? He has told me he was always single when we were involved, which may or may not be the truth. All he had to do is issue a pre-emptive strike and things might've gone differently for him. If he'd called me, or texted me, or sent me an email, "Hey sweetie, things are getting serious with my GF.  I really want to give this relationship a chance. I know you love me and want me to be happy, as happy as you are with your hubby. Let's cool it and let me be the first to contact you if things don't work out. You have meant the world to me, and I love you and wish you guys all the best."That's all he had to say.

My hubby, who knows all about lying and avoiding conflict, said he didn't do that because he "didn't want to hurt my feelings". WTF???? HOW WOULD THAT HAVE HURT MY FEELINGS??? This is so much worse!!! Instead of telling me something helpful and loving, now he's accusing me of ruining his life because HE didn't handle his personal life truthfully!!! That hurts. He has brought me lots of pain as well, and I never told him nor made him feel bad about himself for it. I refuse to accept that I ruined his life. My hubby says that he isn't angry at me, he's angry at himself. I believe that.

I also believe she has the right to know who he really is before she commits to him. If they stay together now, they will have an honest relationship. She is only 21 years old for God's sake, too young to commit herself to any guy let alone someone who is so messed up. She seems like she's an extremely intelligent, beautiful and honest girl and deserves to be treated better. If she wants him, and let's be honest, he is worth it, I truly believe that, after all I've been in love with the guy for 8 years now, she deserves to know him the way I know him. She may know his favorite color, his favorite food and how he leaves the seat up (if he does), but I know how kinky he really is and how he told me she won't do the things sexually he wants to do. Maybe now she either will, or she won't, and he can live a "vanilla" lifestyle and put up with it to have her and be secretly miserable (which will lead him to cheat on her, as he has done) or she'll accept that part of him and participate. Either way, this pain will cause them both to grow and be closer.

I refuse to accept that I've "ruined his life". His deception, his conflict-avoidance, and his game-playing to keep us both has ruined his life. There was a time not too long ago he was prepared to move here and be with us; he said only if I'd give him my car and I wasn't willing to do that. My hubby gave me that car to cheer me up when Mickey left California for Oregon and and broke my heart. He knows that story, and that was my one thing I refused to acquiesce on. I told him, "You can drive it all you want if you come live with me, but I can't give it to you. You understand right? I can't do that to my hubby." He understood. He thought seriously about moving here. He would've been very happy here.

We can't go back, we can only move forward. I am not sorry for having him in my life, if anything, he changed me and my life forever and I don't regret a thing. I miss him and I will miss him but something tells me he'll be back.

If not, I'm still okay. I will always love Mickey and not a day goes by that I don't think of him.

I wish him well.