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Saturday, December 17, 2016

Is your pussy dry? Here's why!

I had a lightbulb moment watching the news this morning.


News shows are notorious for their pharmaceutical ads, and I saw an ad fora pill for post-menopausal women.The woman in the commercial is definitely a MILF. She sensually looks at the camera and purrs, "Sex after shouldn't have to hurt" as she's writhing on a bed, toying with the collar of  her white button-down blouse. The camera zooms in on her left hand to show us a wide, gold wedding band. She's SO hot, and she easily looks little older than 40. Google tells me that the average age of menopause is 51.

The ad flashes to another woman with equally long hair, way beyond her shoulders like the first actress, only it's all grey. (AN OLD WOMAN!). We don't really see her close up, but she's swaying sexually too. She doesn't get to say anything. She just sashays erotically. Both women are in fantastic physical shape.

I felt compelled to watch it several times. First of all you need to know how much I despise "Big Pharm" so I have a cynical response regardless, but this really irked me. Why did they have to show a wedding ring?? REALLY?!?!?!?! With all the TV shows on Netflix that are too sexual for me to watch with my teenage daughter, you're going to get all moral on us??? Or is there a deeper message there??

AND THERE IS!!!!!!!!!!!

It all clicked for me.

Menopausal vaginal dryness/pain is a married woman's affliction.

Read that sentence again. I'll paraphrase.

Women in long-term marriages have vaginal pain when they fuck their husbands.

This vaginal pain is caused by a lack of lubrication.

It is a biological fact that the female body creates vaginal lubrication when aroused. 

Menopausal women can't get wet to fuck their husbands because they simply aren't aroused!

The extent to which a woman "gets wet" is our version of a hard dick. The harder a man's dick is, the more aroused he is. Simple fucking fact. Can anyone deny that truth???

When a woman is aroused, her body gets ready for penile penetration by creating its own lubricant, heretofore known as "getting wet". Not to sound scientific or anything, it's just a simple fact. Men get hard, women get wet. If a woman's not getting wet, or a man's not getting hard, guess what folks!!! THEY'RE NOT TURNED ON!!!!!

Now of course I'm generalizing. Do not think for a moment that I'm insensitive to the ill or elderly, or people who suffer from real afflictions that cause soft dicks and dry pussies even when aroused. Of course there is scientific data that shows that as women age, the ovaries produce less of the female hormone estrogen, which can lead to thinning and dryness of the vaginal walls, and I believe as men age and their testosterone levels drop, it can wreak all sorts of havoc on a person's sex life. Having said that, I am GENERALIZING.

And I feel like a bit of an expert on the subject, as I am married in a long-term marriage, and I'm post-menopausal (I went into menopause at 42!!). And I am always buying lube; I have always enjoyed using it during foreplay (and after) and never really stopped to think about whether I really needed it or not. It's just so much fun when it's things get a little slippery!!

When I saw this commercial the other morning, my brain went into overdrive, and it occurred to me that I have never used lube with Blondie, except the very first time we had sex at his apartment. I bought a bottle of lube and gave it to him as a gift, just assuming I would need it! And it was fun to play with, but I realized that every time he fucked me, I was already soaked. What clinched it for me was realizing that last week he slid his dick inside me while we were taking a bath.We all know how drying bath water is, and water in general is the anti-Christ of hot sex. But it went right in, and it didn't hurt, and we fucked our brains out.

And I also realize that just texting him, talking about fucking him, seeing pics of him, and just fantasizing about him and BOOM waterworks. I. AM. READY.

Do I get this wet with my husband?? I know you want to know.

No offense to him, but I don't. But he doesn't get a hard dick for me either without warming up the engine either!  That's a 20 year marriage folks. I doubt he has any trouble with his girlfriend. We can't possibly feel that throw-me-down-on-the-kitchen-counter desire after twenty years. It just isn't possible!! Why do you think you're always hearing how couples go on vacations or try role-playing, even to the point of renewing vows to "spice things up"??? Love and sexual desire can be mutually exclusive.

There's nothing like being with a new lover. In polyamory, we call it "NRE", or "New Relationship Energy." We know it is a phase!! Some of you call it the "honeymoon" stage! And we all know it doesn't last.

And twenty years later, women are wondering why they're dried up.

Get a new lover not a pill!

I'll bet that cures it for most of you.

You're welcome.

Thursday, December 8, 2016


I was missing Blondie badly, and it had been 3 weeks since he'd come over, and I was getting a little pissed off I hadn't heard a peep from him. So I decided to just send him a message, "Hey Blondie, what's up with you? When are we meeting up again bc I'm sure you miss me!"I wrote him at around 11:30 at night, and he wrote back first thing in the morning,"I'm off work today! I can come over right now!" I was like, "woo hoo!" and rescheduled my morning to see him.

He was messaging me, telling me he'd drank too much the night before and was 'down". I said I'd cheer him up. He asked what I wanted to do! I said, "Hmmm what would YOU like to do??" and he answered, "take a bath!" I said "awesome!" It was so cute, he video messaged me twice, and he'd never done that! It was fun. We flirted back and forth and it was so nice making that connection again with him. It was like no time had passed, and we just picked up where we left off.

He said the brakes on his car weren't working, so would I pick him up? So I did; he met me at my car so I wouldn't have to get out (it was like 24 degrees!) and it was soooo good to be with him again. That wild and crazy blonde mane and those blue eyes. He greeted me with a big grin and a hug, and then a kiss. He smelled like booze. It was not pleasant. I drove him back to my house. He's just like a little kid; first thing he did when he got out of the car was spot my new fat tire bike and take it for a spin around the cul de sac. I was like, "oh my god, what if my nosy neighbor sees him??!!" He doesn't even think.

When we got into the house, he said he hadn't eaten anything, and could he have some toast or a bagel? I said sure. So we went into the kitchen, and he was telling me how he and his roommate decorated the apartment last night and ended up drinking too much, doing shots.  As I was standing there glancing back and forth from him to the toaster, he came up behind me and put his hands all over my body and started kissing my neck. I immediately became limp with desire and he turned me around and pressed his body up against me and deep kissed me. I was putty in his hands. I could feel that hard dick up against my body and I was instantly wet. I pulled apart and said, "OMG your bagel!" and it nearly burned. We laughed as I buttered it for him and said, "sit!" and motioned for him to sit down on one of the bar stools.

My phone was blowing up with messages from my band, and as he ate his bagel, I sat down next to him and said I needed to catch up. I had like 16 unread messages and filled him in on what was going on--we were choosing songs for an upcoming gig--and he grabbed my phone and said, "OMG you guys do (X-song, I don't remember which)" and was commenting on all of them. It was fun. Finally I asked for my phone back to respond LOL and then he was telling me how he had "creeped" on my kids' FB bc he wanted to know more about them. Had he said it differently, it would've come off creepy like HH, but he said it all in the same vein. He said my daughter is "so beautiful" and my son "looks like an Abercrombie model." The way he asked about them made me feel like he hoped to meet them one day. He didn't say it, I didn't say it, but he was saying how they seem like really neat people, successful and all too. And then he asked me about my husband, and I answered him with a short response (he'd asked about his job) and then changed the subject. It did leave me feeling like he truly wanted to get to know me better by learning about the people I'm closest to. It made me happy! Like, maybe he truly does have feelings for me???

He talked about how he might lose his job and move to Colorado, how the company has been bought out. How he may decide to stay here too-how they've offered him a severance package but also a raise if he stays. I didn't want to influence him one way or the other so I said, "how exciting! You've got some decisions to make!!"

When he'd finished his bagel, he was so sweet, he thanked me for making it for him, and that he felt much better. I said, "what do you want to do now??" all flirty and he said, "take a bath!!" I was like oh wow. This is going to be amazing.

I told him I had a bottle of champagne chilling, and he thought that sounded good, so I took it out of the fridge and grabbed two wine glasses that didn't match. He kissed me again by the cabinet, and it was deep and passionate. Mmmmm yummmy.

We bounded up the staircase, and we went into my bathroom. I started the water, and put in this vanilla/jasmine bubble bath and he said, "that's the same one you got me!" and I was like thinking, hmm, I don't remember buying you any of that. But then he said, "not the bath stuff, the massage oil!" and I did remember. He makes himself so comfortable in my house, it's really interesting to watch. Like he's been there a million times, or like he fucking lives there. He walked over to my blue-tooth speaker and turned it on. He got us towels (he couldn't believe I have a towel warmer. He'd never even heard of a towel-warmer). I had candles already lit. While I was facing my husband's side of the vanity, I was struggling to get the foil wrapper off the champagne bottle. I turned around and saw he'd completely stripped, and he was standing there watching me. I stopped and said, "oh my god, you are standing naked in my bathroom. Does it get any better than this???" and he said, 'yes it does!" and came over to me and pulled my dress over my head. He slipped off my lacy thong, picked me up and put me on the edge of the vanity, went down on his knees and buried his face in my pussy. That hair, that tongue, that sexy naked 24 year old licking me. It was fucking amazing.

After a little bit he got up and started kissing me, that sexy deep kissing and now he tasted like my pussy which was a huge turn-on. I loved it. He was holding my hips so I wouldn't fall off the vanity, and then he showed me his thick erect cock for me and slid it into my now very wet and ready pussy. It felt amazing, and as we fucked I was slipping off. He picked me up, cock still inside me, and carried me to my bed and continued fucking me. I. Fucking. Loved. That. It was so romantic, it was like, "wow guys really do this??" because ladies haven't we seen that scene in a zillion movies??? (guess I watch too much porn??) Here he was really doing that!!! Combined with the vanity move, I just felt like I wished I'd been recording it all.

He came quickly, and we both realized we totally forgot about the tub filling up! We ran over to it and turned the water off just in time!! He opened the bottle of champagne for me, and we laughed at how disappointing it was that it didn't have that awesome "pop" it should've had! He poured it for us, and then just helped himself into the tub as if he'd done it a hundred times. Once I got in though, he was like, 'OH. MY. GOD. THIS. FEELS. AMAZING." I told him I'd never taken a bath with anyone but my hubby! And so this was really new and amazing for me as well.

We were in there for over an hour. We alternated between talking and relaxing to playing with each other. I'd push up his ass so that his dick, hard and straight as a ruler, would pop up from underneath the bubbles and I'd suck it. The first time I poured a little champagne on it and sucked it off he practically screamed in ecstasy. I KNOW no one's ever done that to him before and sure enough, he told me so. So of course I had to do it several times. Always when he least expected it.

While I was sucking him off he would put his fingers inside me, as deep as he could. And I know one time I think I came that way, and I had never came that way before. I wondered, "is this what the G-spot is all about???!!" I think it may be! It was so fucking deep inside me, and I had never had anyone do that to me before!! I really liked it!! Finally we wanted each other so badly, and I climbed on top of him and put his dick inside me. As he rocked me, I said, "don't lift up! Don't let any water in!" so we rocked and fucked in my bathtub as I'd never been rocked and fucked before.

But that's not how I made him cum.

He masturbated and I sucked him til he came. I loved pleasing him that way.

He'd told me he had to work at 1, so we ought to get out of the tub, so I grabbed our towels and got out first. I handed him his, and he couldn't believe it was warm. He was feeling a little queasy again, so I suggested just laying in bed and taking a little nap. We laid down, and he put his arm under me and I nestled into his underarm, and relaxed. I felt more exposed to him than ever; I mean, DAYLIGHT SEX!!!! MY HAIR GOT ALL WET FROM THE BATH AND WAS DRYING CURLY AND SHIT!! I HAD RACCOON EYES!! And yet, I was relaxed. FINALLY.

And laying there, I asked him, "How long till you were gonna write me?" That three weeks had gone by, and I started to feel like, "wow guess last time didn't go that well" and "guess I'll never see HIM again." He apologized, he said, "OMG I'm so sorry, I know how that feels, and I'm so sorry I made you feel that way." And then, surprisingly, he said, "I was waiting to hear from YOU!" I just shook my head, and waited for him to say more.He went on to explain how he pretty much just texts if he thinks he can see me-that he's thinking of me and wants to see me and if I can't see him he gets so excited he wishes he didn't message me!That he'll get so horny he has to jerk off and gets frustrated!! I had to giggle.  He said otherwise, he doesn't like texting that much and that they can be misunderstood so he doesn't like  chit-chat in texting and likes to wait and share stuff in person. I said that's fine yeah me too but he could maybe say "hey! hope you're doing well! I'm thinking of you and I'd love to see but damn this week is just so crazy! maybe next?" and he said, 'yeah, yeah, totally I will do that."

I addressed the Facebook question I had, and said "well you haven't "liked" anything on my page so I haven't "liked" anything on your page so I respect that maybe you would like me to stay under the radar??" He just said oh that was when he was with Piggy Face. He didn't really say, "Go ahead it's fine" he just explained how it wasn't okay before, so I think I will continue to just stay incognito until he "likes" MY posts.

While we were laying there talking, he kept playing with himself. Not like guys do when they're trying to get it up, more like a lazy dog just kind of playing with it absentmindedly. I said, "you're really distracting me here playing with your dick like that." And he said, 'Oh yeah???' and I said, "YEAH!!" He said, "well, feel free to do something about that!" So I did! I leaned over and licked his body up and down and around his dick but wouldn't touch it at first. Made it grow big and strong and then took it in my mouth again. He lifted me up and slid his dick in. We fucked so hard, I'm sure I came again, damn we fucked so deep I shuddered like I was having a fucking religious experience. He came again, and afterward, like always, he stays hard and we just keep fucking. I didn't want to stop. I got tired tho finally, and I knew he had to go to work, so I finally slipped off of him. I laid next to him, and he was just like "OH MY GOD (my name) I CAME THREE TIMES!!! I NEVER COME THAT MUCH!!" I said, 'WITH ME YOU DO!!" and he agreed with a big grin. I thought, "yeah, you're not fucking 200 pound piggy face bitch!! This is how good sex can be!!" I'll bet that's what he was thinking hehehe

I snuggled him and said, "let's take a 5 min nap." He said he can't nap, can't settle down (he has ADHD like me, but I'm on meds). So we just laid there and chatted. It was WONDERFUL. I really felt like I was being myself for the first time with him. I didn't do shots this time, and not just because I had to drive and go pick him up. I wanted to be fully present and myself with him. And we only drank one glass of champagne, which didn't do anything for me. It was more symbolic. Champagne bath. Something he doesn't do with just anyone.

He told me a little about Piggy Face, just that he thought maybe she'd cheated on him with her ex, maybe not, but that there were things she wasn't telling him, and that it is once and for all "really over." I said, "her loss babe, my gain" and he looked at me and smiled and said, "MY GAIN!!" and kissed me. We snuggled and then knew we had to get up.

I decided not to put back my sexy dress on, and put something on more casual. I said, "I'm gonna put my jammies on! Since I'm not going anywhere for awhile!" He said, 'aren't you going to take me home?"and I laughed and said "oh yeah!! I forgot!!" So I took them off and put my sexy dress and thigh-high black velvet boots back on.

He said he wasn't feeling well again and that he might be sick. That the champagne wasn't settling well. And he was sick, and I felt terrible. He laughed it off like it was no big deal "it was all just the champagne!" and he got a bottle of water. When we got out to the garage, he got in my car and from inside, opened my door for me! I thought that was very sweet. He mentioned again how much he loves my car, and we talked about putting a turbo engine in it.

On the drive home, he was quite animated, very talkative. He wanted to make sure he knew how to get to my house and back for the next time when he comes to see me. He had the exits mixed up and it bothered him. He talked about big trucks and bulldozers and stuff like that, how he'd wanted to be an architect and and how he also almost got a construction job with the state. When we passed some construction workers, he was elated at how quickly they'd patched up this area of the roadway, and commented on how much money they make.

I was blindsided when he told me he wants to have a child within a year. II swear it came out of nowhere.That he's wanted a kid since he was 19. He wants to have kids while he's young. I just listened and said "you'd make an awesome dad." What was I going to say??? I'll have your kid for you?? I can't have any more kids and if I could, would I want that??!! That's what I was thinking while he's joking about "putting firecrackers under her butt if she won't get up for school." And not believing he'd actually think that was ok to do. He was a child himself. Why the fuck would he want a KID????!!!! Clearly he has no idea what he's talking about. Kind of like girls who think getting married is all about the wedding. Fucking clueless.

When we got to his apartment, I parked and he turned and gave me a wonderful hug, a short kiss (bc he'd just gotten sick) and I said, "I hope you feel better!" and he said, "I do already! I just think I need a nap." I said, "I hope you don't remember our date as "really awesome until I threw up!!" He said, "no no no, not at all. I came three times. We took a bath. It was awesome!" And he hugged me again, and he got out. I started to back out, and watched him as he walked to his apartment in the freezing cold without looking back.

I drove home feeling like I wasn't in love, I was definitely smitten, but I could enjoy him more now, getting to know him more and seeing him for the man he is, not who I need him to be. I've done a lot of work on myself, and it's really wonderful to feel this way. I'm not on cloud nine, I've got both feel planted firmly on mother earth, and I've never been happier.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Blondie in my bed

For almost eight months, there was no contact between Blondie and me. I left him completely alone while he was with his GF, which was sometimes hard to discern bc they broke up at least 7 times in those 8 months that I'm aware of, bc you could see it on their FB. I did send a couple messages to him during those break-up times, but he never responded. So I just went back to leaving him alone.

And finally, on Oct. 2nd, the texts I'd been waiting for came.

I was in the middle of band rehearsal, and I was SO excited I couldn't even barely sing. I showed them to my hubby who gave me a big smile. He knew how happy it made me. And to make a long story short, he wanted me to come over that night but I couldn't. We agreed to get together the next night, and he sent me a very sexy pic of himself. The next morning he cancelled, and they got back together.

A couple weeks later, he deleted his FB and so did she, and they both went completely AWOL. And then, weeks later, both re-emerged, broken up for good it seemed. He'd started a whole new FB, and bravely, I sent him a friend request, which he accepted! I was hopeful. I saw on his page he was looking for someone to cut his hair! I thought oh no!! Don't cut off your mane!! So I wrote him a PM and he responded he wasn't going to chop it all off, just a trim.

Which led to a couple messages here and there, and finally, he wanted to come see me.

I didn't know he'd bought a car! He was mobile! And it was a couple days before Thanksgiving, and he was heading out of town to visit family in another state and wanted to see me before he left. I had the house to myself but I had tennis first so we wouldn't have much time together.

I rushed home from tennis and showered and got myself dolled up. Sexy dress and black stilettos.

And shots of peach vodka as I was getting ready!!

I was so nervous. I had waited so long for this moment, and as much as I had fantasized about him, I wasn't ready for it, and yet I was. I had no plan of action, I had no idea what was going to happen or how I was going to feel, except I knew I was excited beyond excited.

I opened the garage door for him, and he parked in my husband's spot. I met him at his car, and I closed the door and wondered if my nosy next-door neighbor had seen him drive in.

He looked just as adorable as I remembered. His long blonde mane wild as he is. He looked so good. He had a red knit hat on, flannel shirt, khaki pants. And those black glasses, and a big smile for me. He got out of the car and we talked about the car for a bit, and then went inside.

He stood in the doorway for a few minutes, I have no idea what he was talking about now, but I stepped back to invite him in. He looked around, and said, "I miss this place. I miss being here." He went on to tell me all the things he missed. And I took him by the hand and invited him upstairs.

He told me how much he missed being there. Missed my bedroom, missed being in my bed. And with that, he took off all his clothes except his boxers and white gym socks, and flung himself onto my bed, his hands behind his head, legs spread, a huge hard dick poking up, stretching those boxers tight. It was a marvelous sight. I was tipsy and getting a bit slobbery from the vodka, and I regretted having had any. I straddled him, we were both smiling, and I said I just wanted to take it all in. I lightly touched him all over, just in such disbelief he was here in my bed again.

He was like fine china at that moment--I wanted to touch so badly, but afraid of the mess I might make. And it was going to get crazy.

I knew he had to leave at noon. It was almost 11:30 so it was time to get busy.

I was straddling him as I pulled my dress off over my head, and I had on an off-white and peach bra and panty set I'd bought just for him and had worn previously for him. I had on his fav artist on my Bluetooth speaker, and was wearing my $600 bottle of perfume I'd worn for him before. I wanted to make things as familiar as possible.

I rubbed my pussy on his hard dick through his boxers. I love to tease. He was squirming. It was such a turn-on. The eye contact was piercing right through my soul. He sat up, then picked me up in his arms and gently flipped me over. He stood before me, and I slipped his boxers off and showed my appreciation. I scooted to the edge of the bed and took that big throbbing dick in my mouth and sucked it and licked it. I looked up at him while I did it, and he was thoroughly enjoying it. His long mane hung down and tickled my face while I sucked his dick. I said I wanted to suck it dry. He pulled me up gently and said, 'next time".

He spread my legs apart and buried his face in my pussy. That long blonde mane tickled my legs, and I love when he flips it out of the way. So fucking sexy. I played with his hair while he licked me. AND Oh. MY. GOD. I came right away in his face. I had so much pent-up desire for this man. He was surprised too!

He was so ready for me. There's nothing like a hot guy with a hard dick for me. He stuck that dick in and fucked me hard and he came so fast. I loved kissing him while he fucked me. I hadn't a care in the world. He was my world.

After he came he flipped off me and onto his back, flipped his hair again out of the way, and I went and got a towel. He apologized for having to leave so quickly and I said oh it's fine I knew before you got here you weren't going to be able to stay long. I suggested he rest for a bit since he had a long drive. And within seconds, I was on top of him fucking him again. We couldn't get enough of each other. And I got to see that O-face of his again, so fucking sexy. And I came again fucking him. I licked his neck, I kissed him, I licked him everywhere. And he almost came again. I love how he stays hard even afte an orgasm. He just stays hard and keeps right on fucking me.

We chatted while we got dressed. I'd forgotten to take him into my bathroom and show him the Minnie Mouse framed pic he'd given me was up on the wall! He was telling me how he wanted to "take baths" with me. Plural, not singular! I said, "I want to wash your hair". It was hot and sexy.

We went downstairs, and he wanted a drink! I was like okay hmmm thought your have a long drive. He wanted a Bloody Mary and ironically, I had all the ingredients, they just had never been opened. So I made him one, and he sat on a bar stool in my kitchen and I half-sat on my lap. He told me all about what happened with the GF (she was kind of seeing her ex behind his back). He told me about a new friend of his that lives in his building, and it was so awesome, he was really sharing a lot about himself with me. I felt so comfortable with him, and he seemed to feel the same way. I was a big slobbery in my talk and I think I gushed a little too much. I said something about how a GF should  make you feel "adored", and she didn't make him feel that way. I said, "I adore you".  I also said something about feeling like you're number one with someone. That they should make you feel that way, and I said something stupid and blubbery like "I could be your number one", to which  he responded something about not wanting a relationship right now (and I agreed with him!) and he said what he has with me he "didn't want to define." I loved it. I felt like he'd made a lot of progress in his thinking since we were last together.

It was so nice sitting on his lap and listening to him tell me about himself and his life. I felt like no time had really passed; it was more or less just catching up.

He wanted to roll a joint before he left, so we went outside and sat down on the patio chairs while he did. It was pretty cold out, so I had grabbed a coat. He loved watching my dog and cat frolic in the grass and we chatted. I don't remember what about.

Eventually, it was time for him to go, and it's funny cause now it was almost 1:30. We couldnve fucked more! But it was awesome just hanging out with him. AT MY HOUSE.

I walked out to the garage with him and we kissed bye. I opened to door and he drove out, andI stupidity blew hm a kiss, and walked back into the house. I didn't watch him drive out, and I waited till I was sure he was going before I closed the garage door.

I was still horny and drunkie and felt a little stupid, worried I'd behaved stupidly because of the vodka. And because I was so nervous.

I haven't heard from him since, so I have no idea what he's thinking or if I'm worried for nothing.

I am writing other boys, and one in particular has been after me for a year but he lives in Florida! Indiana will be here in two weeks, and we've been snap chatting sexy videos to each other. I will go fuck him this time he visits.

I told Blondie I hadn't been with anyone else since he and I were together. He'd only been  with his GF. I told him I'd had lots of opportunities but didn't really want anyone else. It was the truth. And I still feel that way, but I have to have back-up since he's not exactly beating down my door to see me again.


Damn he was worth the wait though.